Feeling Low

Hello everyone,

I've been diagnosed as autistic over a year ago now. I'm not sure whether this is autism related or just depression, but lately I've just felt so useless. My work hours have been cut down since December, as my work is very much 'seasonal'. So it's left me with a lot of down time. For the first two months I've been focusing on home renovations and DIY. But lately I've just had no energy to do anything. I'll just sit on the sofa all day, pace around the garden trying to thing of ways to fill up my time. But, every idea that pops into my head is batted back and forth of reasons why that won't work or why something will get in the way. I can't describe how infuriating this is, to the point where I'll just be sat there crying and calling myself useless. Then my partner will come home and I'll instantly be back to normal and all my woes disappear.

I used to be so independent. Now I get upset when my partner won't go to the shop down the road with me. I know I can, but when I try, I just get so overwhelmed. Why have I become so dependant on someone? Our relationship is perfectly functional and we'll both go hang out with our own friend groups or he'll be off to work all week around the country. How can I make myself better? Why do I just feel so defeated all the time? And what has happened to all this energy towards everything I love? I don't even have passion for my hobbies anymore. Is anyone else going through this?

  • Hi and welcome to the community. Perhaps it's a reaction to a change in your work pattern? It may be that you are not coping well with things because you can't envisage them working out as expected, without an unexpected change or alteration occurring?

    If you don't start to feel better very soon, talk to your GP. I wish you well.

  • I think that what you describe sounds very familiar to me - and times when I’ve felt things  like low mood/depression. I understand your concern and frustration that you’re feeling like this - I think a lot of people have this experience though. Whenever I’m feeling like this I try to reassure myself that all mental states are temporary and that eventually it will lift ,it will pass. Often what helps me is to just tackle a small job, like sorting out a draw, or a bit of gardening or cooking, something fairly low demand but that gives me a small amount of satisfaction that I’ve actually done something and achieved something - however basic it might be. And I just try and do things like this and just wait until I start to feel a little better. I find it very reassuring to know that everything is impermanent - the bad mental states as well as the good. All things must pass :) 

  • I am sorry to hear of your current predicament.

    It does sound more like something depressive which is ailing you at the moment, going by your description, but I must point out that we cannot diagnose anything medical on this site, and can only signpost you to the most appropriate care or speak from our own experiences.  

    Here is a link to the NAS pages on depression.  Hopefully there is some information here that may help

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/depression

    If you are continuing to struggle for any length of time, please seek guidance from your GP or consider the possibility of speaking to someone in Primary Care (talking therapies) which you can normally arrange yourself or via the Doctor.