It’s just something I have been personally struggling with, I’m starting to realise how alone I am. It’s great to have you lot to ask questions and chat to, but in my everyday life I’ve stopped even mentioning autism, this is mainly with family.
Being autistic I can cope with, after all I coped for 54 years before I new there was a name for how I function. Now I sound like them.
I may act ‘robotic’ a lot of the time but I do feel hurt, I feel guilt for being fussy about food, not really trying hard enough with people or work. It’s hard to explain that I don’t need masses of friends or want to go out socialising.
I find even with my wife and I know I’m lucky to have a partner that I’m generally not believed or am behaving badly. I could never share how much energy I use in just holding back shutdowns when I’m overwhelmed or show on the outside that I am overwhelmed.
I then think it’s my fault for masking so heavily for so long, my non stop internal voice then rightly tells me that it’s not my fault, I had to mask heavily to survive, it then tells me I should go back to masking more. I now feel I’m oversharing, this could be an autistic thing so I will leave it there.
So back to my original question, does anyone have someone who fully tries to understand and accept them without question?
