An Autistic Only Section.

It is in nature of any forum that you must trawl through posts that don’t interest you. That would remain true if it were somehow possible to enforce a nd/nt rule. It isn’t a requirement that you must respond to any post, you can ignore and move on. 

Thanks for the reply - I had long wanted to raise the question, what tipped me over the edge was:

1) I got a warning for what I maintain was a statement that, although a little tasteless, was made in the Adults section, used in a particular context, and if the person it was sent to wasn't able to glean the inferred meaning, also could not have constructed the original message. 

For anybody reading this who wishes to connect the two points and suggest that it was anything other than a coincidence, you are wrong!

2) I didn't comment as I wasn't able to type without getting myself in trouble the other day, but that an NT was able to use the phrase "one of those people" (I am not 100% sure if it was aimed at you in particular or at the community as a whole) is disgusting. It also asks pertinent questions concerning who is being protected from whom, and if the circumstances were reversed, would it have gone unchallenged?

I want to think it was simple human error, but even if that is the case, there is no excuse for not acknowledging that it happened. After all, this is prime overthinking territory.

Like you, I enjoy helping a wide range of people here, and there is something affirming and productive about it. Still, even that is teetering on shaky ground, given that offering medical advice is frowned upon, and nobody knows what constitutes medical advice. Also, I read many messages that raise red flags, especially the clandestine inquirers. It is a terrible ethical conundrum.

Sorry for the extended response, but it allowed me to flesh out why I raised the original question for discussion in the first place.

Many thanks,

B&I

I just feel there is something really awkward when NT people come here and ask - essentially volunteer Autistic persons - to give up their time to signpost them to help them with potentially ASD relations.

Even more awkward when same NT people don't seem to like the answers given, from said volunteers.  

It is as if some people Google Autism and come across the NAS, register, and then expect answers - they don't consider the sensibilities of who may be providing them.  It is almost a far more convenient resource than wading through the internet or trudging down to see the GP who might be unsympathetic anyway. 

Often they miss the big purple banner at the top of the page which does actually contain the words 'ADVICE AND GUIDANCE'   You almost feel that some CBA to read those links - they'd prefer someone would precis the words for them.  

Thing is, I don't mind helping people - I actually view it as therapy.  Its quite nice when someone comes back in and says they appreciate you took time to reply in depth.   The best posts, of course, come from those you actually identify with - and for me - it isn't these relation ones.   

I suppose I just feel it is unfortunate when you don't actually know if you've helped anyone at all.  If they never reply.  If they never acknowledge or never return.  Worse, if you've taken time to reply - and then they come back in and argue with you.  


Sure, it would be nice to filter Autistic (diagnosed + self-diagnosed + awaiting diagnosed) away from NTs here, but I just don't see how.  

Just as my final thoughts on this, I do understand that all stakeholders, whether they be working or volunteering for the NAS, whether it is members of the neurodiverse community officially diagnosed or "self-realised" if you are a family member or friend doing some research on behalf of a loved one, contribute and a lot of good people give up time and resources. For this, I feel fortunate. The longer-term objective has to be the following, though, does it not?

 The National Autistic Society is here to transform lives, change attitudes and create a society that works for autistic people.

I believe that the neurodiverse community will never achieve this objective without contributing and speaking up. After all, only so much moaning can be done when we reach an unsuitable utopia if we do not contribute to the design. 

Thanks again, everybody. 

It's an autistic trait to take things literally; all of us on here who are autistic have it on some level. What do you think made me irritable? All joking aside, I am always happy to find alternatives for how to explain things; all people have to do is ask. 

Hi Spikey! 

Preach! It took me eight years to get my diagnosis. 

It was just an attempt to garner some discussion over possible alternatives. I don't think you're in any danger; this, I believe, is as far as it will go. It's just some opinion-swapping. 

B&I

TheCatWoman said:

I think the idea that a room for intellectual discussion being divisive is one where we're being expected to dumb down and stick to the lowest common denominator.

We could simpy ignore those who are bemoaning that they are not smart enough to contribute to the conversations and continue with the discussion anyway.

It can be a bit like having a group of friends together when you have cats in the house - the cats will often try to get in on the conversation by jumping on someones lap and making a fuss in the hope of getting some attention (probably food) so the best approach it to largely ignore them and continue with the friends.

If there is a conversation you don't understand then there is no need to prevent it being there - just sit quietly while the others enjoy the discourse.

There is nothing to be gained from dumbing down the subjects for the lowest common denomentator as this has never been a rule or stated objective of the forum.

Instead lets allow us to be the grown ups and talk about what we want and leave the cats to get bored and go back to licking their bottoms.

I'm still researching and struggling through brain fog thanks.

I woudn't know how to start a forum either. I think the idea that a room for intellectual discussion being divisive is one where we're being expected to dumb down and stick to the lowest common denominator. There are lots of topics where people are very knowlegable and a whole load of others where they're total ignoramouses, myself included, my understanding of maths is primary school level for example, but I can do history at university level. I think in Britain we're afraid of intelligence and people being clever and we do ourselves a massive disservice both personally and nationally.

I'm sure people would feel left out if there was a block button, you could have two levels of block one where you can't see them and another where you can't see them or they you. I prefer the latter to the former. If someone annoys me to the point I don't wnat to look at them then I don't want to be seen either. There are all sorts of reasons for wanting to block someone, from simply finding them boring to theie attitudes causing you distress, this distress dosn't have to be any of the things that are already banned by the site, but more personal things, I think it allows people to manage what they view and thier own triggers more easily.

Do you mean self-diagnosed too to get away from the carers and partners?

If there was a proof of diagnosis only section then I'd probably leave. Too many people that are very important to me are self-realised, and the path to diagnosis is too long and arduous. Not everyone was as lucky as me to get one so quickly.

Number said:

Do autistic people who visit here want to be "signposted" to endless guidance from "bodies" or are they hoping to find REAL people/autists like themselves here....

You are quite right, but this forum can't filter out the autistic people and non-autistic people at the gate. 

How many posts from parents/carers even spouses of suspected autistic persons wanting suggestions...   who are normally quite happy to take advice on board, but occasionally don't like a differing opinion.  

Personally I try to use my own experiences & chuck in a link as appropriate.  I concede, if I was coming here now, I'd be more inclined to read the comments than the links.  I'm all linked out, so to speak.  

Thank you again to everybody who has continued to contribute. 

For reference, I am not suggesting the removal of any part. As @Number has so eloquently put it, the suggestion is to have a quiet room if you like. In the real world, the neurodiverse has a calm space to escape the hustle and bustle. To me, it would make sense to have one in the digital equivalent. 

How it would work, or how any of the alternatives would. Unfortunately, I am not privy to the intricacies. I am happy to contribute as I am sure everybody would be to design something more autistic-friendly. Or not, if it wasn't desired. 

I just raised the question. It is not about not helping anybody, whether they be NT, ND, or anything else. It is about the freedom to choose and whether or not to be in the firing line. 

Isn't that, on some level, the actual purpose of the NAS?

Give a biscuit to that man! Or lady.....

I don’t understand some posts either. It used to worry me when I first joined here but there are usually enough comprehensible posts to focus on.

I don’t know if the NAS would ever consider a block function, but if they did, I think it would be too divisive and might upset people who might want to be included. I imagine people would still see your posts but not be able to reply, or if they were new people, they might interact with you for a while before you might block them. I think it could be easy to set up a block on notifications, but at the minute, notifications don’t allow many personal choices.                    

TheCatWoman said:

I would like a space where we could be a bit more intellectual and not having to worry about not being understood

I would be concerned that it wouldn’t be in line with the ethos of the NAS, but I would like somewhere to make that sort of thing work. I’m not convinced that this is the best place for it - so if not here, where?

We could start our own forum for “Aspiring Academic Autists” or something like that. The only problem is that I don’t know how to do that!

If the NAS made a separate category for say “Academic Discussion”, “Ancient History”, “Current Affairs” or “Politics”, it would still appear on the Home menu, so it would be just like starting a thread on a topic of interest as we have done in the past.

How is your book coming along? 

The problem is that we only know as much as somone choses to tell us, yes I know there will always be this problem, but without a block option we have less choice over who we interact with than I'm comfortable with.

It's because ASC is a spectrum that I think we need different rooms, being a mostly high functioning person, I would like a space where we could be a bit more intellectual and not having to worry about not being understood, I do think we sometimes dumb ourselves down. Although talking of not being understood, I often feel like that anyway, I don't know what the hell a lot of the posts are about and I often feel that I'm misunderstood too. Especially when everyone seems so happy with tech and I'm a total alien with it..

Thank-you

I agree again B&I, this site tries to be all things to all people. People come and ask us questions, but then we get moderators coming along and reminding us of what we can and can't post, so people obviously aren't finding the information they want when they first come to the site, why not? Or do people come to the forum and ask questions because they want to speak to real people?

I don't feel this site is very secure, we have lots of people popping up with threads that are really adverts, there seems to be no filter to prevent men from replying to posts in the women and girls room. OK I know nothing's really private online, but there could be more of an attempt to make it so, either that or get rid of it.

I've noticed recently that we seem to have more and more NT's asking about thier partners and telling us they are ND, it feels as though we're being asked to help provide a stick for someone to beat their partner with, not all the time, but I've noticed a few that do and I don't like that at all. Of course if you challenge them you're wrong, but when I hear from those posters that they don't want any help for themselves or to do anything like couples counselling, then I know that ND is being used as a weapon.

Would that Autistic only section be only for diagnosed people or those who suspect being autistic and/or waiting for the assessment too?

honestly I like this forum in the form it is currently. I got some support here, also connections, found some let’s say online friends. I don’t have diagnosis although autism was mentioned by my teachers already in my childhood, but as I come from a dis functional, poor and pathological family, no one cared about things such as mental health so I was basically laughed at and bullied at home same as at school. Now getting diagnosed with autism has a lot of obstacles for me and I’m not sure if it ever happens. 

This cuts to the heart of the matter (as I see it.)

Do autistic people who visit here want to be "signposted" to endless guidance from "bodies" or are they hoping to find REAL people/autists like themselves here.....with whom they feel safe and secure to connect with.....to just chat?

I don't think there is a need to be divisive or eletist - the forum is about autism so whether you are autistic, think you may be or are dealing with an autist then it does seem sensible to have everything on one place.

It also builds up a large body of information on the subject that can be readily searched rather than needing to go to different places and wonder if we qualify with the right brain type to post there.

Just my opinion of course.

Thank you. I would have understood it was a debate if you had added a second sentence with “Discuss”, but then one of my challenges is that I can take things literally. 

I think that as it is a charity for autistic people, their families and anyone who has an interest in autism or who might be caring for autistic people, the forum should remain as it is.

Some autistic people may have other neurodiversities, and some people may be neurodivergent yet not be autistic, but the focus should remain primarily on autism, with the forum running itself as a peer support group and a place where autistic people can chat about most things.

A separate section could be added for non autistic people to ask advice and so on, but I don’t think it’s needed as people can easily choose who to interact with or ignore. Anyway, autistic people often don’t like decisions being made about them, without them, so it might not be helpful to distinguish between non autistic people and autistic people. Moreover, as autism is a spectrum, we all have varying amounts of different strengths and challenges, which means that some posts by autistic people may be indecipherable to other autistic people, and vice versa.