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Feel like such a failure

Jax

I feel like such a failure and I hate myself. I still live at home with my parents, I don't work but I have tried to work before, but it affects my mental health and last time resulted in me being detained under section 2 of the mental health act. My brothers all work, both have moved out now and live with their girlfriends and I'm still at home. I'm 28 now and I feel like since I left school my life hasn't progressed whatsoever, I spend all day with my mum, my dad is out working and I feel so guilty and ashamed that I don't work either.

My days consist of helping in the garden, playing with toys and watching Disney movies and listening to music. I worry what will happen when anything happens to my parents, I've heard them in the past talking about me ending up in a home. That idea frightens me so much. I want to live independently in my own home, and to be with someone, and working.

As I said. I'm a failure. I hate myself and everything I am.

Parents

  • Hey Jax, I also agree with what others are saying about not comparing yourself to others. 

    I truly believe that we were not meant to work like we do now. Our society is obsessed with productivity, money and materialism, but it's only like that because people decided that was supposedly important. But it isn't..  what is most important is happiness - both yours and the people closest to you. 

    I know a lot of people who are living with their parents, both people who work and people who don't. Living with parents is becoming increasingly common with the cost of living anyway. It's not a bad thing - who decided that 'success' meant moving away from your parents? It's also a cultural thing, many cultures have multi generational living arrangements.. why not? It makes sense for a lot of reasons. I'm living with parents at the moment and I personally can't wait to get my own space back lol but everyone is different! So living arrangements are different, too. 

    It can be nice to be involved in community and activities that you're interested in though. I know people who go to a local allotment or gardening group and the food they grow feeds people who need it. So, if you're wanting to be involved in something, why not look into things like that? (You may not like gardening, but that is just an example! There are other things like arts, animal care, nature based groups etc). 

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  • Hey Jax, I also agree with what others are saying about not comparing yourself to others. 

    I truly believe that we were not meant to work like we do now. Our society is obsessed with productivity, money and materialism, but it's only like that because people decided that was supposedly important. But it isn't..  what is most important is happiness - both yours and the people closest to you. 

    I know a lot of people who are living with their parents, both people who work and people who don't. Living with parents is becoming increasingly common with the cost of living anyway. It's not a bad thing - who decided that 'success' meant moving away from your parents? It's also a cultural thing, many cultures have multi generational living arrangements.. why not? It makes sense for a lot of reasons. I'm living with parents at the moment and I personally can't wait to get my own space back lol but everyone is different! So living arrangements are different, too. 

    It can be nice to be involved in community and activities that you're interested in though. I know people who go to a local allotment or gardening group and the food they grow feeds people who need it. So, if you're wanting to be involved in something, why not look into things like that? (You may not like gardening, but that is just an example! There are other things like arts, animal care, nature based groups etc). 

Children
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