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Feel like such a failure

Jax

I feel like such a failure and I hate myself. I still live at home with my parents, I don't work but I have tried to work before, but it affects my mental health and last time resulted in me being detained under section 2 of the mental health act. My brothers all work, both have moved out now and live with their girlfriends and I'm still at home. I'm 28 now and I feel like since I left school my life hasn't progressed whatsoever, I spend all day with my mum, my dad is out working and I feel so guilty and ashamed that I don't work either.

My days consist of helping in the garden, playing with toys and watching Disney movies and listening to music. I worry what will happen when anything happens to my parents, I've heard them in the past talking about me ending up in a home. That idea frightens me so much. I want to live independently in my own home, and to be with someone, and working.

As I said. I'm a failure. I hate myself and everything I am.

Parents

  • Hi Jax,

    I just want to say that you are not alone - your situation is not so unusual in the autistic community. I have two adult sons with autism - one lives in his own place and my other son lives with us (his parents). He’s in his twenties too, and he often feels disappointed that his life hasn’t expanded into the wider world more at this point in his life. My son is an amazing person and we feel so lucky to have him still living with us - but I know he wants much more from his life than to be with his parents all the time. 
    Life can be complicated for autistic people (I’m autistic too by the way). We can be late developers in my experience! I don’t know what the best route is for you to change your life in the way you want to - but I just wanted to say: please don’t hate yourself! Be kind to yourself - you’re not a failure  - please don’t fall into the trap of talking yourself down like that. Embrace who you are, and be forgiving of yourself - because being autistic can present us with so many challenges that make life harder. It’s not our fault! Be kind to yourself :)

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  • Hi Jax,

    I just want to say that you are not alone - your situation is not so unusual in the autistic community. I have two adult sons with autism - one lives in his own place and my other son lives with us (his parents). He’s in his twenties too, and he often feels disappointed that his life hasn’t expanded into the wider world more at this point in his life. My son is an amazing person and we feel so lucky to have him still living with us - but I know he wants much more from his life than to be with his parents all the time. 
    Life can be complicated for autistic people (I’m autistic too by the way). We can be late developers in my experience! I don’t know what the best route is for you to change your life in the way you want to - but I just wanted to say: please don’t hate yourself! Be kind to yourself - you’re not a failure  - please don’t fall into the trap of talking yourself down like that. Embrace who you are, and be forgiving of yourself - because being autistic can present us with so many challenges that make life harder. It’s not our fault! Be kind to yourself :)

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