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What's wrong with the word 'no'

Cloud44

Seriously, why can't NTs just say no, or they don't know. Why so they just ignore you or not respond?? If you don't want to do something, there is a very simple word to use... No. Instead they leave you in limbo not knowing. I'm probably supposed to know that a lack of response means no, but my brain insists I can't say for sure until I get an answer. If this just me?

Parents

  • There's two things. The first involves measuring priority. 

    We can't demand others make up their minds on a thing immediately, even if that's how we've been treated.  Not saying this is the issue, but something to remember. 

    Second, there is a sort of social conditioning in some cultures that enforce 'directness' as offensive. Which is one of the more critical complexities and polarising differences between Autistic and Non. I have theories as to why this is, but suspect it may have to do with a broader issue around difference in communication and how one matures. All children have a difficult time with understanding unless they're given a hard yes or no. Typical children are then given the rules to social ambiguity which can then be translated through other informal codes. Meanwhile, Autistics are just left with ambiguity. 

    Regardless. I have simply learned as I've gotten older to state what my plans / actions will be without a definitive yes or no. And have had to learn I do not owe allegiance to anyone who is not proving through action their commitment to me. 

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  • There's two things. The first involves measuring priority. 

    We can't demand others make up their minds on a thing immediately, even if that's how we've been treated.  Not saying this is the issue, but something to remember. 

    Second, there is a sort of social conditioning in some cultures that enforce 'directness' as offensive. Which is one of the more critical complexities and polarising differences between Autistic and Non. I have theories as to why this is, but suspect it may have to do with a broader issue around difference in communication and how one matures. All children have a difficult time with understanding unless they're given a hard yes or no. Typical children are then given the rules to social ambiguity which can then be translated through other informal codes. Meanwhile, Autistics are just left with ambiguity. 

    Regardless. I have simply learned as I've gotten older to state what my plans / actions will be without a definitive yes or no. And have had to learn I do not owe allegiance to anyone who is not proving through action their commitment to me. 

Children
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