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Rant about lack of autism support and social groups

Wib

Honestly just felt like a bit of a vent. I have recently moved to a new area and because it’s a more central location I wanted to try and look for some social groups. I struggle quite a bit with loneliness and making friends. 

So, I did a bit of googling and searched apps like meetup to see if there were any support groups/social groups aimed at autistic adults. Basically just a safe space for neurodivergent folk to socialise and potentially make friends. 

However, I can’t find anything apart that fits this category. This really surprised me as I live in a city now so you would think there would be at least one group like this. I found a group that was for autistic people to socialise every week at a different pub. I loved the sound of this but it looks like there hasn’t been any meetings in at least a year.

What frustrated me even more is that there was lots of organisations offering support groups and workshops for parents of autistic children an carers. I agree that these groups are needed and are a great sense of community for carers and parents. But, I find it disappointing that these organisations aren’t able to offer the same for autistic adults.

I have even considered if I could start my own. However, I would have no idea how to go about this but I could do some research as I think a group like this in such a big city would be great.

For now I’m going to look at other social groups like book club or maybe even give crafting a go despite my lack of skill in this area.

Rant over it just really annoyed me lol 

  • in reply to Wib

    even if your local group is inactive now its worth chasing up the old orgoniser to ask for advice on starting your own.

  • in reply to Cloud44

    I really want to challenge myself to start my own. The response from people on here has really gotten me motivated. Definitely going to look into some venues and send some emails and see where it goes.

  • in reply to Peter

    Thanks for the advice these are really useful tips !! 

    The group I found online seems really good. It’s in the city centre which is a half hour walk from my house. It takes place weekly which would be great for me being more social. It also takes place in a pub which is a nice informal setting. It has been inactive online for ages so I’m going to do some more digging and see if it’s taking place.

    I‘m also going to add finding out my local councillor near me and enquire about starting a group. I also know some small independent bookshops that hold small events so I might reach out to them as well. 

  • I mean I share you frustration. I tried joining a local group set up for people with autism and learning disabilities and frankly it was very disapointing. Then I found a group in a near by city spicificly for people with aspergers but it was inactive online so I asumed it had shut down. It hadn't it was just very small and they were very bad at using the internet. I'd say do some casing of any groups you think are inactive.

    Also with regards to starting a group, the aspergers group I go to has a friendly councilor who books out a free room for them every month in the council building. Maybe speak to your councilor?

    Frankly its clear most autism charaties don't give a dam about high functioning autistic adults ... so we'll just have to make absolute nusences of our selves till they do.

  • I hear this all the time, I've even posted this myself, I guess there is a massive gap in the market but it takes a confident person to set one up. I don't think I have the people skills or the mental energy to do it.

  • in reply to Iain

    If they won't even listen to me on a basic introduction phone call, I spent 20 mins telling them about my problems with tech and digital stuff, only to be told they do an introductory course via some kind of zoom thing and dealing with thier total shock at me not having the equipment to use it or the knowlege, then why do you think they'd listen to me about anything else?

    I did mention support for older people how to deal with things like menopause, what happens if you need care or develop something like dementia and they weren't really interested. Worse of all I mentioned something that had happened to me and was told quite snappily that no it didn't happen and not to exagerate! I chanllenged this very strongly and basically asked the woman how the hell she could know that when she wasn't htere at the time and had only just met me She shut up, but it didn't inspire any confidence that they were a supportive place to be.

    I don't know what services should be set up for others, as I'm sure you know, ND's are as different in thier pleasures, needs and stuff as NT's. I'm not really a social person at all and the things I enjoy are definately not mainstream, like I've not played a computer game sinse the 1980's and have no interest in doing so, I think Disney should be banned for Crimes Against Whnnie the Pooh, I don't watch film and have zero interest in theatre especially musical theatre and thats just taking a few examples from recent thread on here. What would you like Iain?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    TheCatWoman said:
    Our local support group meets during the day and seems more about making sure you have the right benefits, they don't seem able to help with anything else, apart from cheap plastic sunglasses. To be honest I think they're a waste of public money,

    Have you tried pushing them to provide what you think is needed?

    Without input they will keep doing the same thing, thinking it is filling the need so why not propose something specific that you think would benefit you and others?

    TheCatWoman said:
    Adult services aren't set up for people like us and don't know what to do anyway.

    With you life experiences would you say you now know what sort of services are needed for autistic people?

    It may be worth compiling a list of ideas for anyone thinking of starting their own group or for others to present to their group with recommendations on what would work for them.

    It could be a good way to change this from feeling like a victim of their lack of focus to being a part of the solution.

  • Instead of a social group, why not just take up a social hobby? The best thing I ever did was take up Brazillian Jui Jitsu. And they always go out socialising at my club. Martial Arts clubs are very socially focused. As in you join a community when you take it up. Trust me, look up Brazillan Jui Jitsu it is such a good thing for increasing your confidence and self esteem.

  • I agree, I wonder what all these parents and carers do with their autistic people whilst they're in meetings? I think theres some sort of strange idea that ASC ceases to exist when you hit your 18th birthday or certainly by the time you leave uni. Adult services aren't set up for people like us and don't know what to do anyway. Our local support group meets during the day and seems more about making sure you have the right benefits, they don't seem able to help with anything else, apart from cheap plastic sunglasses. To be honest I think they're a waste of public money, the result of a bunch of NT's stting around brain storming about "what ASC people really want and need", I didn't feel heard there at all, or particulalry welcome, they say they're there for adults but what I think they really mean is under 30's.

    There used to be a group that met in a restaurant, but I didn't want to go to that as there was no safe parking and nothing I could eat, I was told it was mostly young men too, which put me off.

    I don't think that anyone knows what to do with ASC adults, and nobody ever will because nobody ever asks and if they do ask they never listen.

  • You could start one on meetup, even one similar to the pub one you like the look of then all you need to do is choose a pub and create the event on the app