• Replies 10 replies
  • Subscribers 84 subscribers
  • Views 713 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Partner of an autistic person

Warriorwisewoman

Hi, I’m struggling with my partners (seemingly) inability to recognise or acknowledge my emotional needs. 

He doesn’t have a diagnosis but the traits he presents and the impact it has, I believe he would be considered Asperger’s. (I hope it’s ok to use that term, I know autism is a spectrum)

I’ve tried explaining to him directly how I feel and what I need multiple times with no success.

At this point I’m not really looking for suggestions of how to get through to him, (but if you have some I’m all ears) what I’m really looking for is other people in my shoes who can tell me that I’m not alone. 

Parents

  • I am autistic and married to an allistic (non-autistic) woman and have two neurodivergent adult children. However, I am a 'people pleaser' and score considerably higher for overall empathy than the neurotypical average, I score lower in cognitive empathy, however. I sometimes need the emotional state of others explained to me, often with overt suggestions as to what I can do to help or comfort them. Other times I feel empathy so strongly that I freeze, not knowing what to do. Again, overt suggestions about what I can do to help, allow me to be effectively emotionally available from the point of view of the other person.

    As an example, a close female friend had a rather distressing report from her son's school, about his getting upset very easily. I cannot often recognise when hugging someone is appropriate, but when my friend said, 'I could do with a hug', I was happy to comply.

Reply

  • I am autistic and married to an allistic (non-autistic) woman and have two neurodivergent adult children. However, I am a 'people pleaser' and score considerably higher for overall empathy than the neurotypical average, I score lower in cognitive empathy, however. I sometimes need the emotional state of others explained to me, often with overt suggestions as to what I can do to help or comfort them. Other times I feel empathy so strongly that I freeze, not knowing what to do. Again, overt suggestions about what I can do to help, allow me to be effectively emotionally available from the point of view of the other person.

    As an example, a close female friend had a rather distressing report from her son's school, about his getting upset very easily. I cannot often recognise when hugging someone is appropriate, but when my friend said, 'I could do with a hug', I was happy to comply.

Children
No Data