I will never quite meet the grade socially

 

I have been thinking about my social skills lately, and how I picked up some basic social competencies from the age of 16 onwards - I am now 26 years old. But maybe we can compare Asperger's syndrome to Dyslexia: just as a Dyslexic will never be able to read perfectly, although they might just scrape a grade in English after significant effort, so a person with Asperger's will never have perfect social skills. However, with a lot of effort, it is possible to just scrape a grade in the 'social skills exam' (with luck, perhaps even a C!), but the way social skills are learnt will be radically different to how Neurotypicals learn them. Perhaps we use a different part of the brain to learn social skills, and so we learn them like a Dyslexic learns to read - the software is not automatically programmed into the brain so we have to build it up block by block. A Dyslexic could learn to read quite well, but only after many years of hard work, and they will always be Dyslexic - the skill will never be natural for them.

What are your thoughts?

Parents
  • I get on fine with people most of the time but I've never really had a close friend and from time to time this really bothers me. I see things on Facebook or something which shows how close some of my acquaintances are to other people and I ask myself why I've never had that kind of friendship?

    There are other times when I really can not be bothered to put in all the effort to maintain certain friendships. I don't want to be dressing up and going out of an evening when I can just sit in front of my computer in my comfy clothes. I don't always want to be listening to mindless chatter about things that don't interest me at all. I find socialising to be such an effort sometimes and it really is tiring.

Reply
  • I get on fine with people most of the time but I've never really had a close friend and from time to time this really bothers me. I see things on Facebook or something which shows how close some of my acquaintances are to other people and I ask myself why I've never had that kind of friendship?

    There are other times when I really can not be bothered to put in all the effort to maintain certain friendships. I don't want to be dressing up and going out of an evening when I can just sit in front of my computer in my comfy clothes. I don't always want to be listening to mindless chatter about things that don't interest me at all. I find socialising to be such an effort sometimes and it really is tiring.

Children
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