I will never quite meet the grade socially

 

I have been thinking about my social skills lately, and how I picked up some basic social competencies from the age of 16 onwards - I am now 26 years old. But maybe we can compare Asperger's syndrome to Dyslexia: just as a Dyslexic will never be able to read perfectly, although they might just scrape a grade in English after significant effort, so a person with Asperger's will never have perfect social skills. However, with a lot of effort, it is possible to just scrape a grade in the 'social skills exam' (with luck, perhaps even a C!), but the way social skills are learnt will be radically different to how Neurotypicals learn them. Perhaps we use a different part of the brain to learn social skills, and so we learn them like a Dyslexic learns to read - the software is not automatically programmed into the brain so we have to build it up block by block. A Dyslexic could learn to read quite well, but only after many years of hard work, and they will always be Dyslexic - the skill will never be natural for them.

What are your thoughts?

Parents
  • It sounds as though you are doing everything you can to get on with your life.  Learning to love yourself will draw more people to you in time.  Have you thought about joining an online group of like minded people? I met my best friends online and although we don't met up very often because of living in different parts of the country, the support from them is far better than those people I see in my day to day life.

    Also, do you have any kind of support worker?  Maybe they could put you in touch with someone your age that needs a friend?  My own daughter doesn't go to school at the moment but she has a friend in a girl a few years older than her that has a learning disability.  They get on really well as despite the age difference and disability difference, they are similar types of girl.

Reply
  • It sounds as though you are doing everything you can to get on with your life.  Learning to love yourself will draw more people to you in time.  Have you thought about joining an online group of like minded people? I met my best friends online and although we don't met up very often because of living in different parts of the country, the support from them is far better than those people I see in my day to day life.

    Also, do you have any kind of support worker?  Maybe they could put you in touch with someone your age that needs a friend?  My own daughter doesn't go to school at the moment but she has a friend in a girl a few years older than her that has a learning disability.  They get on really well as despite the age difference and disability difference, they are similar types of girl.

Children
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