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'What do you do?' Being defined by your job

TheCatWoman

I dread this question when meeting people for the first time, what do I say? I'm not working and haven't for a while due to all my health probems ganging up on me, so do I say that, (usually) do I say what my last job was, self employed hairdresser, what my current and over riding interests are gardening, cooking and history, so should I say I'm a gardener, a cook or an historian? Do they count as I'm not paid for any of them. Or should I say that I'm a human being rather than a human doing?

Why is it so important to NT's to know what work you do, what your profession is so as they can decided whether to talk to you or at you or walk away and ignore you? The only equivalent I can think of for ND's would be 'whats your special interest?'

What do you say when asked this question? 

Do you conform and say what your paid work is/was? 

How do you feel about having to play this game?

Does it put you off socialising?

Parents

  • I can relate to what you say here - it’s a difficult question to answer when you don’t have a conventional paid job. It doesn’t seem right to have to immediately start sharing health info with people you barely know (unless you’re comfortable with that of course). For myself I’d probably say something vague like ‘lots of things - none of which are exactly a conventional job’. Which is true :) The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to answer a question just because somebody asks it :)

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    I find myself entirely unable to give and straight and simple answer to that question "What do you do for a living."

    I do what I do.  I'm good at some stuff and bad at others.  Most of my "doing" requires an equal amount of stuff I'm good at, and stuff I'm not good at.  I bring in some money for some of those things and I spend that money on life.

    I like it when people ask me more appropriate and interesting questions, like "Are you living a happy life?" or "What do you love to do the most?" or "What is the most interesting thing you think you know?"

    I like people who ask the unexpected and unusual.  It is more interesting.

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  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    I find myself entirely unable to give and straight and simple answer to that question "What do you do for a living."

    I do what I do.  I'm good at some stuff and bad at others.  Most of my "doing" requires an equal amount of stuff I'm good at, and stuff I'm not good at.  I bring in some money for some of those things and I spend that money on life.

    I like it when people ask me more appropriate and interesting questions, like "Are you living a happy life?" or "What do you love to do the most?" or "What is the most interesting thing you think you know?"

    I like people who ask the unexpected and unusual.  It is more interesting.

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