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'What do you do?' Being defined by your job

TheCatWoman

I dread this question when meeting people for the first time, what do I say? I'm not working and haven't for a while due to all my health probems ganging up on me, so do I say that, (usually) do I say what my last job was, self employed hairdresser, what my current and over riding interests are gardening, cooking and history, so should I say I'm a gardener, a cook or an historian? Do they count as I'm not paid for any of them. Or should I say that I'm a human being rather than a human doing?

Why is it so important to NT's to know what work you do, what your profession is so as they can decided whether to talk to you or at you or walk away and ignore you? The only equivalent I can think of for ND's would be 'whats your special interest?'

What do you say when asked this question? 

Do you conform and say what your paid work is/was? 

How do you feel about having to play this game?

Does it put you off socialising?

Parents

  • I can relate to what you say here - it’s a difficult question to answer when you don’t have a conventional paid job. It doesn’t seem right to have to immediately start sharing health info with people you barely know (unless you’re comfortable with that of course). For myself I’d probably say something vague like ‘lots of things - none of which are exactly a conventional job’. Which is true :) The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to answer a question just because somebody asks it :)

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    I always say 'not a lot' which isn't true but it's like the simplest answer I can come up with on the spot. I just want to get away as quickly as possible when people put me on the spot like that, it's like when someone asks 'how are you?' I never know what to say, just want to run and hide.

  • in reply to Ladybird

    that’s a bad question as well, I’ve learnt that it’s just like saying hello nobody is interested in how you actually feel. Sometimes falling into the trap of properly answering….

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  • in reply to Ladybird

    that’s a bad question as well, I’ve learnt that it’s just like saying hello nobody is interested in how you actually feel. Sometimes falling into the trap of properly answering….

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