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'What do you do?' Being defined by your job

TheCatWoman

I dread this question when meeting people for the first time, what do I say? I'm not working and haven't for a while due to all my health probems ganging up on me, so do I say that, (usually) do I say what my last job was, self employed hairdresser, what my current and over riding interests are gardening, cooking and history, so should I say I'm a gardener, a cook or an historian? Do they count as I'm not paid for any of them. Or should I say that I'm a human being rather than a human doing?

Why is it so important to NT's to know what work you do, what your profession is so as they can decided whether to talk to you or at you or walk away and ignore you? The only equivalent I can think of for ND's would be 'whats your special interest?'

What do you say when asked this question? 

Do you conform and say what your paid work is/was? 

How do you feel about having to play this game?

Does it put you off socialising?

Parents

  • I don't play it. I tell them the truth, and if I'm not working (like now), I tell them that, too. If they judge me for it, I won't be seeing them again anyway. I'm only interested in forming relationships with people who accept the real version of me, so I've stopped playing NT games, I'm not rude, just honest when it comes to personal questions. It's quite liberating.

  • in reply to Cloud44

    Isn't not playing liberating, it's such a relief although it does cause a different set of problems with people getting cross, but I'd rather be authentically me with few friends and aquaintances than have to do through all the masking and other nonsense to have a life full of people who don't really know me and live in fear of being found out as some kind of fraud.

    ************

    Sorry Phased I didn't really understand your dance metaphor at all

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  • in reply to Cloud44

    Isn't not playing liberating, it's such a relief although it does cause a different set of problems with people getting cross, but I'd rather be authentically me with few friends and aquaintances than have to do through all the masking and other nonsense to have a life full of people who don't really know me and live in fear of being found out as some kind of fraud.

    ************

    Sorry Phased I didn't really understand your dance metaphor at all

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