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'What do you do?' Being defined by your job

TheCatWoman

I dread this question when meeting people for the first time, what do I say? I'm not working and haven't for a while due to all my health probems ganging up on me, so do I say that, (usually) do I say what my last job was, self employed hairdresser, what my current and over riding interests are gardening, cooking and history, so should I say I'm a gardener, a cook or an historian? Do they count as I'm not paid for any of them. Or should I say that I'm a human being rather than a human doing?

Why is it so important to NT's to know what work you do, what your profession is so as they can decided whether to talk to you or at you or walk away and ignore you? The only equivalent I can think of for ND's would be 'whats your special interest?'

What do you say when asked this question? 

Do you conform and say what your paid work is/was? 

How do you feel about having to play this game?

Does it put you off socialising?

Parents

  • I hate being asked this question, but I don’t get asked as often as I used to. I don’t know if that is because I’m older and retired, or if it is because I don’t socialise apart from an occasional lunch with one friend at a time. I tend to meet some people on walks with my dog but I don’t recall being questioned recently about what I do. The last few times I was questioned, I smiled and said ‘it’s a secret’ - I think that’s inoffensive and it makes clear that I don’t want to discuss ‘what I do’.

    Over the years other responses have varied depending on my circumstances, ‘I’m retired’ or ‘I’m a retired teacher’, ‘I be’, I’m unwell’, ‘I’m a student’, ‘I’m an archaeologist’, ‘I’m a volunteer’. I find it hard to tell if people are genuinely interested in me as a person, so I would err on the side of caution, as I have a tendency to say the wrong thing. On more than one occasion I’ve retorted ‘I beg your pardon!’.

    Unfortunately social structures have dictated the preoccupation with occupation for centuries, and it is a worldwide phenomenon. Human beings are defined by their employment or lack of, rather than more importantly, their innate value as human beings. The information we can deduce from historical censuses is largely defined by the person’s occupation. People are valued by the productivity of their lives, and that productivity is defined by how much they contribute to society through not only personal endeavour, but more significantly through financial contribution by way of financial self sufficiency and contribution to the state through income tax. 

    My grandfather had a certain way with words when he was asked a question that he considered rude, eg, ‘I deal with nosy people’. 

Reply

  • I hate being asked this question, but I don’t get asked as often as I used to. I don’t know if that is because I’m older and retired, or if it is because I don’t socialise apart from an occasional lunch with one friend at a time. I tend to meet some people on walks with my dog but I don’t recall being questioned recently about what I do. The last few times I was questioned, I smiled and said ‘it’s a secret’ - I think that’s inoffensive and it makes clear that I don’t want to discuss ‘what I do’.

    Over the years other responses have varied depending on my circumstances, ‘I’m retired’ or ‘I’m a retired teacher’, ‘I be’, I’m unwell’, ‘I’m a student’, ‘I’m an archaeologist’, ‘I’m a volunteer’. I find it hard to tell if people are genuinely interested in me as a person, so I would err on the side of caution, as I have a tendency to say the wrong thing. On more than one occasion I’ve retorted ‘I beg your pardon!’.

    Unfortunately social structures have dictated the preoccupation with occupation for centuries, and it is a worldwide phenomenon. Human beings are defined by their employment or lack of, rather than more importantly, their innate value as human beings. The information we can deduce from historical censuses is largely defined by the person’s occupation. People are valued by the productivity of their lives, and that productivity is defined by how much they contribute to society through not only personal endeavour, but more significantly through financial contribution by way of financial self sufficiency and contribution to the state through income tax. 

    My grandfather had a certain way with words when he was asked a question that he considered rude, eg, ‘I deal with nosy people’. 

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