caregiver while on the spectrum

Bountiful Greetings everyone! 

I am caregiver for my elderly mom and its getting really challenging. Dealing with a woman who is strong willed and determined to suffer in silence without letting me know anything is really becoming unbearable. I've been the caregiver for my parents since I was in my 20s since I had older parents and I feel like I have just enough. I am the daughter so its almost implied that the boys go do other things while the girls state and never really create a life. The weight of this reality is really bothering me and I am at my wits end about.  I know conversation need to happen with my brother and not sure what to do at this point.

Tired though and frustrated and always coming across as the "a**hole" in my family because I speak on things that are obvious and challenging to face. 

Any advice would be nice. Any other caregivers out there who have advice or have strategies on how to navigate life.