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Length of Masking

NAS96052

Hello, I have posted before about trying to get help at school for my 15 year old daughter. Just a quick summary, she's very quiet , hard working and achieving so school are dismissing my concerns as no teachers have expressed worries about her as she is achieving academically and not disruptive ! Both myself and 19 year old daughter are autistic and I know first hand the signs and symptoms especially masking. I know what the effects of unrecognised autism and how the lack of support can damage you and it worries me that she is heading for a burn out.

I have listed how she behaves at home, the difficulty she has in education etc but unless she has a diagnosis the school are still not helping with her unique needs. They are telling me that she will be given any extra assistance that anyone else would be offered and they are referring to interventions and extra homework. This is not what she needs. She needs help with how to approach long questions, how to revise etc.

I explained that she masks at school to fit in and the head of senco said thats impossible as no one can mask for 6 hours at school.  Please forgive me but I am sure they can . I masked all day at school and then I masked on 12 hours work shifts. Am I being stupid?

What are your thoughts on masking please?

Thank you

Parents
  • NAS96052 said:
    unless she has a diagnosis the school are still not helping with her unique needs.

    I would push for an autism assessment to get her the help she needs - there is a good guide to it here:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/before-diagnosis/how-to-request-an-autism-assessment

    Autism seems to be primarily genetic so it is worth making sure your daughter is aware that she is probably experiencing some autistic traits (even if she does not meet the threshold for a diagnosis) so she could benefit from understanding it and using techniques to cope with it.

    NAS96052 said:
    I explained that she masks at school to fit in and the head of senco said thats impossible as no one can mask for 6 hours at school.  Please forgive me but I am sure they can . I masked all day at school and then I masked on 12 hours work shifts. Am I being stupid?

    Like you I can mask for days at a time so long as I have a few hours to decompress (I use meditation to rebalance myself). The school seem to have a very flawed understanding of masking and it would pay to put them straight on this front.

    If it is within your budget then getting a therapist may be a good idea to help your daughter with developing effecive study techniques and coping with her autistic traits in the short term. Just make sure they are experienced in the areas you are interested in - best to ask about cases they have had success in previously to see if they sound like they are making it up.

    Good luck.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you Iain

    She is on the waiting list but have been warned it may be up to a 4 years wait.

    I have school about masking and my personal experiences but they get very offended and lecture me on how experienced the senco team are!  I just feel very angry that they are telling me, an autistic adult, that masking for over 6 hours is impossible!

    We aren't asking for the world, just a little help.

    Thank you Iain

  • in reply to NAS96052
    NAS96052 said:
    I have school about masking and my personal experiences but they get very offended and lecture me on how experienced the senco team are!

    Along with the NAS information provided by , have a read also of 'Putting on My Best Normal: Social Camouflaging in Adults with Autism Spectrum Conditions' and perhaps use it in part or whole to support your application for your daughter's special educational needs to be met.

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