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Length of Masking

NAS96052

Hello, I have posted before about trying to get help at school for my 15 year old daughter. Just a quick summary, she's very quiet , hard working and achieving so school are dismissing my concerns as no teachers have expressed worries about her as she is achieving academically and not disruptive ! Both myself and 19 year old daughter are autistic and I know first hand the signs and symptoms especially masking. I know what the effects of unrecognised autism and how the lack of support can damage you and it worries me that she is heading for a burn out.

I have listed how she behaves at home, the difficulty she has in education etc but unless she has a diagnosis the school are still not helping with her unique needs. They are telling me that she will be given any extra assistance that anyone else would be offered and they are referring to interventions and extra homework. This is not what she needs. She needs help with how to approach long questions, how to revise etc.

I explained that she masks at school to fit in and the head of senco said thats impossible as no one can mask for 6 hours at school.  Please forgive me but I am sure they can . I masked all day at school and then I masked on 12 hours work shifts. Am I being stupid?

What are your thoughts on masking please?

Thank you

Parents

  • I masked every working hour for nearly forty years. People can and do, although it likely leads to meltdowns behind closed doors. It sounds like the senco has outdated ideas of how autism presents. I'm in a similar situation with my daughter at the moment, she is currently on a long waiting list. She can have SEND help but not an EHCP.

    It sounds like you understand your daughter and are supporting her at home even if she is lacking support in school. The best thing you can do is let her be 100% real at home to relive some of the stress of masking. I'm 40 now and completely unmasked, it's such a relief, but it does make life more difficult on the outside (education, work etc) but much happier on the inside.

    Also, a side note, if she has plans to enter higher education, there is loads of support there like study mentors, extensions, extra time for exams etc but a diagnosis (or proof on a waiting list for one) will be needed.

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  • I masked every working hour for nearly forty years. People can and do, although it likely leads to meltdowns behind closed doors. It sounds like the senco has outdated ideas of how autism presents. I'm in a similar situation with my daughter at the moment, she is currently on a long waiting list. She can have SEND help but not an EHCP.

    It sounds like you understand your daughter and are supporting her at home even if she is lacking support in school. The best thing you can do is let her be 100% real at home to relive some of the stress of masking. I'm 40 now and completely unmasked, it's such a relief, but it does make life more difficult on the outside (education, work etc) but much happier on the inside.

    Also, a side note, if she has plans to enter higher education, there is loads of support there like study mentors, extensions, extra time for exams etc but a diagnosis (or proof on a waiting list for one) will be needed.

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