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Struggling with the news I had last night

Rach91

Hi last night my dad phoned me and told me that him and his partner are getting married in August and I’m really struggling with that. After I lost my mum it destroyed us both my dad really struggling for a while we both did. My parents were married for over 30 years. Then my dad found someone else she really nice but isn’t my mum. He is living in Scotland with her now and is happy but it’s a lot for me to take in and I’m really struggling. My friend Rikki said he might be my plus one at the wedding which I am thankful for because I feel I am going to need the support and I know I should be happy for my dad but I don’t understand why marriage? It’s a lot to take in and I feel if my parents were divorced and my mum was still alive it would be a different. 

Parents

  • Unfortunately, there is nothing that you can do for your mum, but you can do things for your dad, to make him happy. I understand how hard this can be. My father died at a relatively young age (64). A couple of years later, my mum met a man she had known when she was eighteen, who was now a widower. She was very conflicted about becoming involved again, having had a long and loving marriage. However, I encouraged her, knowing how she needed company and how miserable she would have been on her own, I was working full time, had just bought my own house and was courting my future wife, so I was really unable to give my mum the level of companionship she needed. I did not see this as a betrayal of my dad, but as something very positive I could do the help my mum. She had a very happy relationship for 15 years, until her own death.

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  • Unfortunately, there is nothing that you can do for your mum, but you can do things for your dad, to make him happy. I understand how hard this can be. My father died at a relatively young age (64). A couple of years later, my mum met a man she had known when she was eighteen, who was now a widower. She was very conflicted about becoming involved again, having had a long and loving marriage. However, I encouraged her, knowing how she needed company and how miserable she would have been on her own, I was working full time, had just bought my own house and was courting my future wife, so I was really unable to give my mum the level of companionship she needed. I did not see this as a betrayal of my dad, but as something very positive I could do the help my mum. She had a very happy relationship for 15 years, until her own death.

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