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Coping with death

Wan

Hello I have autistic and ADHD. I'm 29 and I live with my parents. I'm not as independent as I would like but I struggle in many ways like with cooking and finances, I'm ashamed to admit I don't think I could live on my own. My parents aren't just my parents they are my best friends and life without them is unimaginable. I lost my gran in 2020 and it affected me badly, my mental health turned bad and for a time I was detained in a mental health facility to keep me safe. Being detained wasn't a good experience and I still think it was perhaps an overreaction on the professional side of things.

However it has since made me wonder how I would cope if either of my parents died. I know they will as is natural of all living things but I wonder how those of you who are autistic have coped when people close to you have died? 

Based on my past experience I fear I won't cope well but I'm a bit older now and have gained many life lessons in that time. I know myself better and have my confirmed diagnosis's of autism and ADHD, both of which have brought me a lot of peace as they answered questions of why I never fitted in anywhere.

On the face of it I haven't changed much on the outside but on the inside I feel I can understand myself better than I did four years ago. I struggle with processing basic every day changes and for me death has proven to be the biggest change that has occurred in my life so far. I'm due to see a grief counsellor to help with my question here and to fully mourn my gran, whom I still miss now and have never really processed losing here.

I'm new here BTW. Nice to meet you.

Parents

  • Dear Wan,

    Welcome to the community. I am really sorry to hear about your recent loss, but it sounds inspiring to hear how much life lessons and inner peace you have gained over the years. I am sure many others will feel inspired by your stories too. It sounds like you are taking positive and healthy steps towards inner peace (e.g., reflecting on your past experiences, booking meetings with a grief counsellor etc.).

    In addition to your existing plans, you might want to visit the following:

    NAS Bereavement - a guide for autistic adults - this page has detailed information about how autistic individuals might process and express their grief, and the positive actions they can take to deal with death. 

    NAS Types of Welfare Benefits - this page gives readers an overview about the different types of welfare benefits they can claim, what they mean, whether they qualify and how they can claim each benefit. For instance a Personal Independence Payment (PIP) benefits anyone aged 16-64 years old who would like more support with independent living activities like 'cooking and finances'.

    Thanks again for reaching out and I wish you all the best.

    Kind regards,

    Good_Vibes365.

Reply

  • Dear Wan,

    Welcome to the community. I am really sorry to hear about your recent loss, but it sounds inspiring to hear how much life lessons and inner peace you have gained over the years. I am sure many others will feel inspired by your stories too. It sounds like you are taking positive and healthy steps towards inner peace (e.g., reflecting on your past experiences, booking meetings with a grief counsellor etc.).

    In addition to your existing plans, you might want to visit the following:

    NAS Bereavement - a guide for autistic adults - this page has detailed information about how autistic individuals might process and express their grief, and the positive actions they can take to deal with death. 

    NAS Types of Welfare Benefits - this page gives readers an overview about the different types of welfare benefits they can claim, what they mean, whether they qualify and how they can claim each benefit. For instance a Personal Independence Payment (PIP) benefits anyone aged 16-64 years old who would like more support with independent living activities like 'cooking and finances'.

    Thanks again for reaching out and I wish you all the best.

    Kind regards,

    Good_Vibes365.

Children
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