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Can't stand Birthdays

The Riddler

It's my Birthday soon, and societal norms suggest it's a "significant one", but I don't care! I've never been fussed about birthdays. To be honest I don't understand them, I don't get what you're supposed to do, I find getting presents slightly embarrassing and any sort of attention is just triggering.For many months I have been saying I don't want to celebrate or really even acknowledge it, and I thought people understood and respected that.

However, this past weekend I went out with a group of "friends" and as far as I was aware it was just a standard night out that this particular group does every so often. I'm always hyper-sensitive when I go out, but it soon became apparent that the group was aware my birthday was coming up as a few under the breath and cryptic comments were made. This immediately put me one edge, but I ignored them and carried on. Later on though we were sat in a restaurant, the comments carried on and then from out of the blue the staff broke into a rendition of "Happy Birthday to you" Queue stifled panic attack, with all the trimmings, before I realised that it was for another table.

What really annoyed me though is that these so called friends found my reaction very funny and were laughing out loud at my reaction. I managed to get to the end of the meal, but then went home, while everyone else went on to the pub. The annoying thing is is that when I have stifled a panic attack like that it stay with me for days, so now my anxiety is quite high and i'm playing the events over and over in my head.

Just wandered if anyone else is the same about Birthdays or am I being ridiculous.

Parents

  • I always hated my birthdays and always tried to avoid having them.

    As a kid, my birthday almost always fell in the school holidays which was amazing to not have to worry about the bullies finding out but I still didn't enjoy them.

    Presents have always been a problem. I still clearly remember how I reacted to 2 presents that were given to me and the thought of how the givers must have felt still haunts me whenever I think about presents at all. Too often, it seems that no thought was put into choosing it at all but I feel obligated to buy them something. I can't put no thought into it so I spend weeks trying to find out what they might want and then finding the best version of it. And then I obviously get disappointed when weeks have passed and they've not even mentioned it.

    What haunts me the most though, is that after my mum died (22 years ago. No sympathy sought), I realised that celebrating my birthdays wasn't really about me. A few days after my last birthday that my mum would have seen, I found out that she'd made me trifle, bought a cake and a present for me that she really couldn't afford but something that I actually liked. At the time, I didn't know why she'd gone to all the trouble. I think I do now.

    My birthdays now, if somebody asks me to do something with them, I'll try my best to put up with whatever *** they have planned. I still don't want presents and I'll tell them that but I want to experience things with the people who care about me.

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  • I always hated my birthdays and always tried to avoid having them.

    As a kid, my birthday almost always fell in the school holidays which was amazing to not have to worry about the bullies finding out but I still didn't enjoy them.

    Presents have always been a problem. I still clearly remember how I reacted to 2 presents that were given to me and the thought of how the givers must have felt still haunts me whenever I think about presents at all. Too often, it seems that no thought was put into choosing it at all but I feel obligated to buy them something. I can't put no thought into it so I spend weeks trying to find out what they might want and then finding the best version of it. And then I obviously get disappointed when weeks have passed and they've not even mentioned it.

    What haunts me the most though, is that after my mum died (22 years ago. No sympathy sought), I realised that celebrating my birthdays wasn't really about me. A few days after my last birthday that my mum would have seen, I found out that she'd made me trifle, bought a cake and a present for me that she really couldn't afford but something that I actually liked. At the time, I didn't know why she'd gone to all the trouble. I think I do now.

    My birthdays now, if somebody asks me to do something with them, I'll try my best to put up with whatever *** they have planned. I still don't want presents and I'll tell them that but I want to experience things with the people who care about me.

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