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Autism and only children

TheCatWoman

I'm an only child and was the typical "lonely only", i only ever played wit one child before I went to school, where I was overwhelmed, obviously. But I wonder how being an only child affects autism? I think quite a few of things I really struggle with are made worse by being an only child, like my almost total lack of competitiveness, did I not learn competition because there was no one to compete with? I have an intellectual understanding of competitiveness, but it's not something I really feel, I'm far more likely to just walk away from competitive situations, I rarely have any sense of achievement either, more a feeling of 'oh well thats that then'. I think I'm also very highly affected by noise and other distractions, I know others are too.

It would be really good if there are any other only children here who are autistic?

Parents

  • I am an only child. I have wondered if the fact that I was used to entertaining myself made it more difficult to recognise the autism. I did spend a lot of time with adults as my Mum was very hospitable. I do know that I found staying with others when  my Mum was not around was difficult, but again thought it was because I was not used to it 

    Interestingly I had a friend who was an only child and she had no problems socialising. She did have cousins nearby with whom she spent some time. I did have friends at school, but I think mostly it was because I was part of a group who made friends with others. Also I mostly went home for lunch as all my schools were nearby. I always found it more difficult if I was there for the long lunch break, especially when I started school. 

    You ask about competitiveness and I am competitive. I played board games a lot, mainly with parents, but they didn't let me win.

Reply

  • I am an only child. I have wondered if the fact that I was used to entertaining myself made it more difficult to recognise the autism. I did spend a lot of time with adults as my Mum was very hospitable. I do know that I found staying with others when  my Mum was not around was difficult, but again thought it was because I was not used to it 

    Interestingly I had a friend who was an only child and she had no problems socialising. She did have cousins nearby with whom she spent some time. I did have friends at school, but I think mostly it was because I was part of a group who made friends with others. Also I mostly went home for lunch as all my schools were nearby. I always found it more difficult if I was there for the long lunch break, especially when I started school. 

    You ask about competitiveness and I am competitive. I played board games a lot, mainly with parents, but they didn't let me win.

Children
  • in reply to Homebird

    That's interesting Homebird, I think most only children do spend far more time with adults than children and in some ways grow an intellectual understanding of some topics way beyond thier years, just because if you wan to be included, you have to be able to ask questions and talk at a more adult level than a child one. I never stayed with anyone else until I was about 13, and even then it was with my grandparents. My parents weren't social people so we rarely had visitors even family, so I never really learned socialising from them, pretty much everything I learned about socialising was from books and telly, so I was often very far off course and bullied for it. I wonder how much 'not being used to it' is ignored with only children and autists?

    Oddly the second paragraph of your post has just popped up?

    I knew an only child much like the friend you described, all his extended family lived nearby and so all the cousins played together and were in and out of each others houses, his experience is very different from many other onlies.

    Maybe the competitiveness thing is mostly just me and not part of being autistic?