How emotionally intelligent - or not - are you as an Autistic person?

As above.

  • Can you give me some advice I’m trying to learn how to improve it. 

  • Variable and in a constant state of flux, but usually erring to the hyper-vigilant and a reactive emotional response to presenting circumstances.

  • Sometimes I can be emotionally intelligent other times not so much. It depends how stressed/upset/depressed I feel at the time. 9x outta 10 I’m normally. Cannot recommend this video enough! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6_J7FfgWVc Step 1...  "Acknowledge our emotions as valuable". Its helped a lot o people, me included so defo worth looking at.

  • I like to think (and am told) that I am much better at it than I think I am.  The only evidence that I have for this, about myself, in regard to this matter, is that I can become VERY motivated when I see unfairness, or lack of accommodations, being extended to folk who need it.

  • I'm pretty good at it.

  • Oh dear. That sounds like a very harsh perception of yourself. We all have varying degrees of emotional intelligence, some elements more highly ranking than others. For instance, while I may have pretty good self-awareness and empathy for quite a few people, I believe still need to develop my social skills with more diverse people (e.g., those who like engaging in office banter and sharing sarcastic humour) and emotional-regulation in response to more diverse situations (e.g., staying calmer in response to getting constructive feedback at work). I am sure you already have some great emotional intelligence skills, and will certainly identify them if you self-reflect a bit longer :)

  • I'm not sure someone (potentially) lacking in emotional intelligence is necessarily the best judge of whether they are lacking in it, whether they are Autistic or not. 

    I've known people - autistic and neuro-typical alike - who regard themselves as emotionally intelligent, yet I'd disagree with their evaluation. 

    Perhaps people aren't always as self-aware as they think they are.  Perhaps opinions on people are subjective, to say the least. 

    There are times when I regard myself as being emotionally 'with-it' but on other occasions I reproach myself for being well off the pace.  I think it is far easier to interpret the ways of others when you aren't emotionally attached in general though.

    I don't think this is a question that anyone can answer easily, nor fully - and be satisfied in entirety with what they've said.  Nor do I think anyone should read the answers of others and use them as a benchmark to compare with themselves. 

    We are what we are, and it is enough for those of us who are neuro-diverse to manage ourselves, and comprehend each other, without having to contend & comprehend with the other 95% who operate entirely differently.

    Just my thoughts. 




  • Fairly bad. Its very unnuanced and unrestrained.  

  • Hello ComputerGeek1337,

    I hope your weekend is going brilliantly Slight smile

    As an autistic woman, I would say I am fairly emotionally intelligent - not too bad at reflecting on my own thoughts/feelings/actions, understanding how I could self-improve, masking in different social groups, interpreting other people's emotions and responding right. However, I always identify areas for improvement, and I am always keen to develop my emotional intelligence and overall skillset as a person.

    How would you rate your own emotional intelligence?