Special Interests and Losing Interest in Them

I have been thinking a lot about special interests lately.

I guess my special interest is my field of work. All I ever wanted to do since high school. After university and work, including two higher degrees I seem to have lost the 'special' part of my interest.

After obtaining a doctorate a few years ago I lost interest in studying. My knowledge of my subject matter is there but my brain cannot be bothered in studying further.

Is this because subconsciously somewhere in my autistic brain I have decided that enough is enough for this interest. It is like a switch was turned off. I used to live my subject nearly 24/7 but after the doctorate I did not have the energy to continue. I used to think it was because of the amount of work and study I did that I was knackered but now years later I have lost interest.

The question for folks on here is:

Have others felt the same way about one or more if their interests? Will I recover this interest or is it gone for good.

Maybe just maybe I have been in burnout since the doctorate was completed.

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  • I'd say your interest just needs to lie fallow for a while, awaiting a time when you can think about a further course of study. And calibrate its format/level to your energy levels of that future moment. 

    There's a fancy word for special interests, passions etc. unexpectedly giving us no further joy: 'anhedonia' (I may have misspelled). It happened to me during a very tough period (essentially two nervous breakdowns in quick succession, with some extreme damage from a narcisist causing the second) and even my longest-term passionate interest (Doctor Who, which I've eaten, lived and breathed for decades) just became so much piddly little 'goings on' to me, my rituals (watching the new season, buying the magazine, listening to the podcasts) ticking over out of habit but, for the first time with a 'who cares?' feeling and mnimal investment of time/enthusiasm. Neverthless, they kept me just aout hanging on to life feeling worth living. Life was just pain and despondency and the hyperfocus on gaslighting myself (as I'd been very skillfully trained to do)  and postmorteming everything, and getting out from under the (deeper part of the) shadow has taken a long time. The work continues. I'm glad to say that my passion/SI is as strong as ever once again, and I will never let that be compromised to that extent again. No matter what... I hope!

    I'm not saying that your own losing interest (for now) means a mental health crisis or damage in your life, that's just what it took for me to have the joy and dependable comfort of even my longest term nurturing influence fade into near-nothing... but it was never going to let me down and it patiently waited to bring me back home to myself. In time. Hopefully your burnout will not leave you detached from your passions forever, I'd say there';s a good chance it won't. Take care, rest without guilt whenever you can, and let time to the rest... 

  • anhedonia

    Excellent word.  Wasn't familiar with it.  Now am.  Thank you sir.

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