It’s currently 3:08am here in the UK when I am typing this, I don’t know where else to turn to but I just feel stuck…
Last November I turned 30 and ever since then I have just felt stuck, alone and not sure what to do with my life. I started CBT Therapy a couple of weeks ago to help try and motivate me and I also signed up for employment support because I really would like to work.
Those are just to things that could help me…but last Tuesday my Nan passed away (I wasn’t close with her) but I was there when she took her last breath. It was my first time seeing that and seeing a dead body. I have been fine since her passing but yesterday (Monday) I just felt really down and then into early hours this morning I just feel worse.
- I feel fed up/frustrated of my weight…I have no motivation to get back into trying to lose weight
- I look at all food/snacks like I shouldn’t have them, I feel like I’m missing out on life
- I’m really fed up with my dad (making me more depressed)
- I would like to be a mum…but the only way I could do that is adopting (I’ve never been intimate with anyone - otherwise I would save up and do IVF)
- I’m so jealous of my little brother (he has a partner, he’s engaged, he has a house, he has a job and now he has a dog)
- I would like to eventually find someone to be with but there is no one near me. I don’t like clubbing etc and I definitely don’t trust dating sites *sighs*
- I have trouble making friends because they either pretend to be my friend or they say horrible things to me to make me upset and end the friendship. This is why I have trust issues and have trouble getting close to new people 
I know everyone goes at their own pace but my brain is just…I don’t know. Right now, I’m just stuck and lost no where to go and I would rather sleep all day then do anything else….maybe when I wake up in the morning I will feel different 
but right now this is all I feel and can’t sleep *sighs*
Has anyone else felt this way? And if so, how do you overcome it? x
