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New here, am I in the right place?

Samuel50

My apologies if I am stumbling into something that doesn't apply to me. I don't have a diagnosis at all and don't know much about autism. Reading some of the posts on here my first thought was "it's another group I probably won't fit in with". Hmmm. I thought I'd list a few things and see if anyone relates at all before seeking any other advice.

My wife has shared with me a paper listing autistic communication styles and what they mean. A lot read like they are about me. I am pretty self-accepting these days (probably comes with age) and have just seen this as the way I am rather than being part of a spectrum or whatever. These include my honest, helpful and direct approach being misinterpreted by others as rudeness, for example. I'm not great at being fair in conversations and will readily dominate when it's a subject I know about, and I interrupt sometimes even when I try not to. Stuff like that. But I'm right, dammit! I feel uncomfortable if I haven't imparted every detail I know on a subject. I do miss some subtle clues and don't see the point of small talk. I like people sometimes but like there's a time limit if you know what I mean? I'm an over thinker. I am anxious about minor things which affect only me but cope well with major things which affect people I care about. I can see the big picture but I can also dive in to the tiniest detail for hours without seeing anything at all in between the two extremes. I value autonomy very highly, perhaps too much. I am drawn to order and get frustrated when others don't follow rules. I also don't like following rules. If I start a new task I need to reinvent the wheel and devise a novel way of doing whatever it is.

However, I don't think I have a problem with eye contact. I don't do repetitive movements or anything like that, though I do like to listen to the same track on repeat (all day sometimes) if that counts?

I have only scored 29/50 on the online spectrum quotient so it isn't conclusive that I am autistic, though I think I probably have some of the traits.

I'd appreciate any suggestions from you on what I should do / research next. Completely open to the possibility I'm just socially awkward and weird so don't hold back if that's what you think.

Thank you

Parents

  • Consider how much of your "traits" affect your daily life. My perspective is that some traits are indeed simply behaviour within a range of human being. Yes I listen to music tracks repetitively but it poses me no problems. I am a firm believer we are a product of our environment so if you have a relatively "good" set up you might not encounter the stresses as much as other autistic people. However, autism IS a communication difficulty / difference when compared with the predominant neurotype and its this which can pose huge problems. It might help to read up on "double empathy" which explains why there's often a dissonance in communication for both parties. It might also be worth reading up sbout executive functioning difficulties as this is often something neurodivergent individuals struggle with, and maybe read about monotropic thinking styles as this is a common aspect.

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  • Consider how much of your "traits" affect your daily life. My perspective is that some traits are indeed simply behaviour within a range of human being. Yes I listen to music tracks repetitively but it poses me no problems. I am a firm believer we are a product of our environment so if you have a relatively "good" set up you might not encounter the stresses as much as other autistic people. However, autism IS a communication difficulty / difference when compared with the predominant neurotype and its this which can pose huge problems. It might help to read up on "double empathy" which explains why there's often a dissonance in communication for both parties. It might also be worth reading up sbout executive functioning difficulties as this is often something neurodivergent individuals struggle with, and maybe read about monotropic thinking styles as this is a common aspect.

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