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Parent withholding my medical records and other evidence from me

Alien0n3arth

My mom is furious that I went to a therapist and as she says “created my own problems” and is doing her best to withhold my medical records from my childhood from me, also my drawings from my childhood. These things would have helped me a lot in diagnostic process. It’s all complicated. She is also lying about many other things. She lies to me about the years, when I was hospitalized, when I know I remember correctly because of some facts that took place and wouldn’t have happened earlier. My stimming behavior- lip picking, that I’ve been doing for nearly 3 decades, often picking the skin to the blood because I hardly feel pain, caused me black spots on my lips that are growing and getting darker. I heard from my dermatologist it’s looking bad and probably needs to be removed, also I told her the story with lip picking and she said I definitely need a therapy to stop doing it. I also Pick the skin on my hands my fingers are often sore and there I also have something to be removed. All these things don’t convince my mom. I m waiting for another appointment with my therapist maybe there is a therapy some sort of behavioral that I may get without the dx. I’m struggling I can’t keep up with even my own appointments, even shopping is exhausting for me. I’m so lucky I have my husband who takes care of many things, speaks to housing company, books appointments, but things online etc. He is also supportive to me, he does not understand my struggles but I know he is trying. I also feel bad about having to leave my beloved ones, because after 15 minutes time spent with them I feel like my brain is shaking. It’s him talking on the phone on loud speaker with his family who has a farm so it’s also “e-aa e-aa or kikiriki muuuh” etc, it’s his football match on the pc, my daughter talking all the time, her toys making noise flickering lights … I just have to leave. My brain shakes. And I feel bad, bad mommy. Despite all this my mom says it’s not an issue and all people have this problem. Really? I’m not sure why I’m sharing this, in fact my mom herself is I would say somewhere in the BAP, but she does not understand my struggles and she never did. I had massive mental struggles as a child and teenager and she did nothing about it. Is there any way to get what I need from her? I don’t want any court cases. 

Parents

  • I'm very sorry to read this.

    I had no parental input because they are deceased but because I have a good memory of my childhood, it wasn't a problem for my assessors.

    So, maybe you can go ahead without any input from you mother or your childhood drawings?

    I wouldn't have included my mother anyway - she would have been a terrible witness.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    If lack of a parental input is not an issue than I can go ahead without even notes, my mom occasionally told me my memory is dangerous I have everything recorded like a movie with details, so yes I have a good memory, I can talk about it. I’m also lucky to have my school certificates with me and some request in written I made as a teen, that I’m struggling mentally and request a psychologist, it was a school form. My special interest at that time was Russian so the assessors would see that I was doing excellent in it and took high place in local competition but at the same time having low notes from many other subjects. I’m not sure if that helps. I can also speak Russian if they ask me, I’ve not been practicing recently but anyway Russian speakers are usually shocked that it’s not my first language. My medical records from my childhood would have shown that I had some developmental delays, I had an encephalogram done as 7 y/o and remember it was requested by the school, because I didn’t react on my name. My mom says everything in the result was fine but I have strong reasons to not believe her. Anyway I only remember that it took place and afterwards she spent over half hour talking to the doctor while I stayed with my granny. 

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  • in reply to Deleted User

    If lack of a parental input is not an issue than I can go ahead without even notes, my mom occasionally told me my memory is dangerous I have everything recorded like a movie with details, so yes I have a good memory, I can talk about it. I’m also lucky to have my school certificates with me and some request in written I made as a teen, that I’m struggling mentally and request a psychologist, it was a school form. My special interest at that time was Russian so the assessors would see that I was doing excellent in it and took high place in local competition but at the same time having low notes from many other subjects. I’m not sure if that helps. I can also speak Russian if they ask me, I’ve not been practicing recently but anyway Russian speakers are usually shocked that it’s not my first language. My medical records from my childhood would have shown that I had some developmental delays, I had an encephalogram done as 7 y/o and remember it was requested by the school, because I didn’t react on my name. My mom says everything in the result was fine but I have strong reasons to not believe her. Anyway I only remember that it took place and afterwards she spent over half hour talking to the doctor while I stayed with my granny. 

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    My mom recently told me I had terrible tantrums out of nowhere when I was a kid, it started at age 5. She didn’t know what to do with it so she did nothing. Genius! I have a faint memory of it, I remember feeling that my brain was shaking but I didn’t know it used to take up to 2 hours, I used to throw things cry or hysterically laugh and then cry again sometimes get a bit quieter and then again crying. When I saw a video of a sensory meltdown of a boy, I can’t help but what she described to me looked exactly like what this boy did. 
    dhe didn’t share this info with me to support me getting dx, but to show I shouldn’t complain about my daughter having temper tantrums because she had it harder with me. But I find this information very useful right now.  

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth
    Alien0n3arth said:
    If lack of a parental input is not an issue than I can go ahead without even notes,

    I should think you will be fine but perhaps you might be able to check that out somehow as of course you may do things differently in Germany to here.

    I really don't see why a parent of an adult should have to be included and I think if my mother had been it might have jeoparised my diagnosis (although she still moaned about how difficult I was to feed as a child, 50 years later!).

    Your memory will serve you well.