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How do you get going?

Deleted User

I thought it might be useful to have a discussion on how anyone has built themselves back up after long term life changing burnout. That being - being over the initial exhaustion and then living with the after effects on a daily basis.

How did you get going again? Did you make drastic changes to pursue more suitable endeavours or was it tweaking what is already there? How do you manage when your usual propensity is boom & bust - did you try to change this or simply accept it's part of your character? 

Parents

  • The trouble is I never knew what I was experiencing as burnout as I didn't know I was autistic and didn't know the term.

    I'd once or twice wondered if I'd had a 'breakdown', which is probably a rather old-fashioned term now.

    I will think on this.

    Interesting question.

  • in reply to Deleted User
    Deleted User said:
    Have you recovered Debbie?

    I think I must have done but I'm unsure.

    My mum died in 2018 and that's when a lot of the pain and responsibility fell away from me.

    For a few months before her death I'd stopped contact with her (she was in hospital after a fall and illness), all the caring services and member of my family and finally allowed myself to not cope.

    This also had the effect that I'd wanted of her being forced into a home.  That probably sounds awful but it's complicated - my mum was blind by then, had dementia, was a hoarder and really couldn't look after herself.  The 'carers' who came in weren't up to scratch.

    Once she had gone into hospital and I started to clear and clean the house (she wouldn't let me do anything when she was at home) I found she had a mouse nest next to her on the sofa.

    However, after her death I had the responsibility of clearing out her house and I did the Probate without a solicitor so it was a long time until I felt that my final traumas relating to her were over.

    So, that's nearly 7 years ... so maybe the exhaustion (and other things) I experience now are more to do with being 62.

    I'm unsure and it's complicated but thank you for asking.

  • in reply to Deleted User
    Deleted User said:
    It doesn’t sound awful to me Debbie. I nursed both my parents through dementia and physical illness and I know how hard it is. Hard in ways I wouldn’t have anticipated too. My feelings about it are very complicated.

    Thank you.

    Yes, I'd remembered that kindness of yours towards them + some things you'd said about it.

    I think our feelings towards our families are usually complicated, especially if 'hands on' care is required.

    I do very much hope that you start to feel better and that things generally in your life improve.

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  • in reply to Deleted User
    Deleted User said:
    It doesn’t sound awful to me Debbie. I nursed both my parents through dementia and physical illness and I know how hard it is. Hard in ways I wouldn’t have anticipated too. My feelings about it are very complicated.

    Thank you.

    Yes, I'd remembered that kindness of yours towards them + some things you'd said about it.

    I think our feelings towards our families are usually complicated, especially if 'hands on' care is required.

    I do very much hope that you start to feel better and that things generally in your life improve.

Children
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