How do you get going?

Unknown said:

I still don't fully understand it and am always amazed when I see people clearly state they are in burnout. It often takes me a long time to cotton on to myself. 

Me too.

Debbie I too wasnt aware of burnout and then didn't understand what it meant, for quite a number of years....even when it was pointed out to me by someone who knows what they're talking about. I still don't fully understand it and am always amazed when I see people clearly state they are in burnout. It often takes me a long time to cotton on to myself. 

I'm sure Mediterranean sun would work wonders and I understand the novelty factor works well for attention when being in a dif fervent environment. I try to get outside even on a drizzly day if I can!

Deleted User said:

It doesn’t sound awful to me Debbie. I nursed both my parents through dementia and physical illness and I know how hard it is. Hard in ways I wouldn’t have anticipated too. My feelings about it are very complicated.

Thank you.

Yes, I'd remembered that kindness of yours towards them + some things you'd said about it.

I think our feelings towards our families are usually complicated, especially if 'hands on' care is required.

I do very much hope that you start to feel better and that things generally in your life improve.

It doesn’t sound awful to me Debbie. I nursed both my parents through dementia and physical illness and I know how hard it is. Hard in ways I wouldn’t have anticipated too. My feelings about it are very complicated.

I hear life is supposed to get better when we’re older. I’m reserving judgment on that 

But I am glad that you are in a better phase of life now.

I very much empathise with this, especially the bobbing along. My previous answer originally ended saying that I feel like my life is in pause mode.

I have found one thing which does energise me, physically and mentally, and that is going to Spain or Portugal and walking in the sun. I can easily do 100km in a week. I am very aware of switching into a different mental state when I’m away and the physical effort is good for me.

Unfortunately this isn’t something I can work into my daily routine.

Deleted User said:

Have you recovered Debbie?

I think I must have done but I'm unsure.

My mum died in 2018 and that's when a lot of the pain and responsibility fell away from me.

For a few months before her death I'd stopped contact with her (she was in hospital after a fall and illness), all the caring services and member of my family and finally allowed myself to not cope.

This also had the effect that I'd wanted of her being forced into a home.  That probably sounds awful but it's complicated - my mum was blind by then, had dementia, was a hoarder and really couldn't look after herself.  The 'carers' who came in weren't up to scratch.

Once she had gone into hospital and I started to clear and clean the house (she wouldn't let me do anything when she was at home) I found she had a mouse nest next to her on the sofa.

However, after her death I had the responsibility of clearing out her house and I did the Probate without a solicitor so it was a long time until I felt that my final traumas relating to her were over.

So, that's nearly 7 years ... so maybe the exhaustion (and other things) I experience now are more to do with being 62.

I'm unsure and it's complicated but thank you for asking.

It isn't about fixing it but living with it. I can tolerate the symptoms of fatigue fairly well. I know what sets me off, when I need to rest, and am more aware of environmental factors. I'm fairly content with the simple life. I'm just bobbing along now and have been doing for a while.  I know change does me good but don't want to end up burnt out again, and the fact I cannot sustain attention for very long means I'm struggling to commit myself to anything new.

Bandwidth is much less these days. I'm just concerned im going to end up more isolated than I intend. I also understand what you say about your passions being diminished and this feeds into my point about attention.

I mean going like the clappers then crashing out.  So in terms of energy rather than emotion. 

Have you recovered Debbie?

My life changing burnout began in 2020 and has never really gone away. It ebbs and flows, with an acute episode kicking in in the winter months in most of the years since. The only year that didn’t happen was when I was on Mirtazapine.

Even in the non-acute periods I am not the person I was before. My passion for most things is greatly diminished.

So I try to take pleasure in simpler things like  walking in nature, reading a book or just sitting with my cat on my lap.

My job forces me to get out of bed, engage with the world and do actual tasks but it is so much more of a struggle than it used to be because I just don’t care anymore. But it is good that it gives me some structure and human contact.

I wish I could tell you some concrete way of fixing it.

Unknown said:

How do you manage when your usual propensity is boom & bust - did you try to change this or simply accept it's part of your character? 

Could you clarify what this means please.

I only know it as an economic term.

I'm guessing you may mean emotional highs and lows?

Thanks.

The trouble is I never knew what I was experiencing as burnout as I didn't know I was autistic and didn't know the term.

I'd once or twice wondered if I'd had a 'breakdown', which is probably a rather old-fashioned term now.

I will think on this.

Interesting question.

Edited and reinstated thread.