Burnout

I hope you feel better soon. Depression is a very nasty thing. It's a good idea to flag autism and burnout to any health care professionals to make sure they don't just default you down a standard depression playbook as that can be bad for burnout. 

I'm fortunate that my company has income protection insurance which I topped up, so time off to recover should be economically viable. Assuming they accept my claim!

There can be interesting bits to my job and sometimes the challenges are exciting and rewarding to triumph over. However, taken overall, work for me is a major negative. It is the biggest and most sustained source of stress in my life and literally makes me ill on a semi-regular basis. I have various adjustments to make it more bearable and this time around will again re-write my job profile and pitch it to my manager before I agree to go back. Hopefully he'll accept a decent % of my "new role" ideas and it'll be a few years before I start getting ill again.

I'm looking forward to retirement!

Prior to my diagnosis I couldn't work out why I was always getting so tired (falling asleep early in the evening and, rather embarrassingly, regularly falling asleep during Zoom or Teams meetings) then when things got really bad I was struggling to concentrate, communicate or really do anything much. A lot of the problems were work-related so for me a lot of it has been about trying to manage stress - I'm useless at noticing that I'm getting stressed until it's too late but I've found a couple of little indicators that help. For example, if I find myself getting restless when listening to music in the car (constantly flicking to the next song on Spotify, for example) then it's a sign that things are getting on top. I've also tried to work out which environments give me sensory overloads and tried to either avoid them or manage them better. Weirdly, I can do long car journeys on my own but if there are other people in the car it's much more of a struggle. Like a lot of autistic people I also struggle with shops so need to take a minute to work out the layout of a place if I have to go into one (i.e. can't get what I need online) and I've only just got back to attending social events after about 10 months of not going to any. Planning in advance, working out the layout of the place, who will be there and even thinking about one or two things to say and do, also helps to keep the stress down. That and taking regular breaks to decompress also helps. Last year I had a serious burnout in Blackpool and it got me into all sorts of trouble but knowing what I know now, I would do the whole thing differently. A long car journey followed by a social event followed by a theme park - three sensory onslaughts in a short space of time and my brain basically switched itself off. I've found that reading about the condition and then trying to apply it to your own personal experience can really help in identifying the things that work or don't work for you.

The last part sounds similar to me with skills loss, communication, executive function and energy / sleep problems. I have also been diagnosed with depression and it feels like the depression is feeding off the burnout and vice versa. 

I took time off work last year following a bereavement but since returning it's been a constant struggle. I like my job, it's so interesting, but it does make me tired having to constantly mask when I speak to people  and I'm worried about taking more time off work. I think the worst and worry I will lose my job. I also reduced my hours when I returned and I am only just making enough to balance my outgoings now. It's a difficult one. 

I like the idea of no diary commitments , I hope these all work out well for you & thank you for sharing your experience with me

Hi Poodle, 

Thank you for posting to the online community. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing burnout. 

We have some advice and guidance on the NAS website regarding burnout: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue/autistic-adults

We also have some guidance on feelings post an autism diagnosis which includes personal accounts from other autistic people which you may find useful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

I hope this helps. 

Gina Mod

Hi and welcome.

For me, it was always work that caused burnout. I changed jobs a lot, and took time off sick to rest if it got too much. I'm now retired and I feel so much calmer.

I recognised I was getting "stressed", but didn't realise the physical symptoms were related too. Got bad sciatica and other pains/injuries, chronic nausea, bad insomnia, exhaustion, rages, horribly intense sensory issues etc. Couldn't deal with getting a doctor's appointment because they used a system called Total Triage (I think) which required me to complete a self diagnosis "describe the medical problem" and tell them what I'd done to self treat and how I wanted them to help me. In midst of burnout I just couldn't cope with completing it... so I struggled on and on.

Luckily I'm bipolar and the bipolar part of my brain took the decision to make me manic. That enabled me to deal with the doctor because "bipolar" is easy to write on the form and led to me getting diagnosed as autistic too. Mania caused it's own problems, but only took c.3 months to feed through. 

Now I'm in a "skills loss" phase of burnout. Problems with executive function, speech fluency, concentration and fluctuations in energy levels. I'm off work and trying to "cocoon". Safe spaces, pretty lights, special interests and no diary commitments. Seems to be helping :)

Burnout hit me really bad a couple of years ago. I am still recovering. It's what drove me to finally get a diagnosis. I didn't feel it was 'normal' for me to be getting so exhausted that I literally couldn't function. I am desperately trying to recover, but am still left with the neurosis of feeling lazy, useless, and a whole lot of other shame based stuff linked to other people's thoughts of me. 

I do wonder if I hadn't caught COVID if I would have allowed myself to recognise burnout for what it was. I was somewhat surprised when I was pulled into a Universal Credit Work Capability Assessment and they concluded that I should be placed in Limited Capability for Work and Related Activity - basically, I wasn't well and not fit for work or even preparing to work. It hit me really hard, but it forced me to face a truth. A counsellor I spoke to at the time likened it to me having raced down a road at 100mph, then finally hitting a brick wall. I survived, but now I can look back and see just how harmful things had been. It was like by going down that road, but not acknowledging my burnout and limitations, I had left a lot of wreckage and damage behind me. 

I am sadly still struggling because I'm finding myself trying to rush back to 'normal'. I'm trying to work within my energy limits (energy accounting), but I find it frustrating that I can't do everything I feel I should do.

My takeaway if I am being honest is to take burnout seriously. Don't keep putting off stopping, slowing down, resting. Otherwise you can end up with more (metaphorical) damage and wreckage on the road behind you that will take longer to clean up. 

For me it was time off everything, which, I appreciate, isn't possible for everyone if you have kids or financially need to continue working. I had to just stop. I left work (major breakdown in store cupboard - not my best moment) and thought really hard. 'What do I need to do make this better?' The answer was nothing, simply do nothing. I made no plans, nothing that meant I had to be anywhere at a certain time, and I woke up everyday knowing there was no pressure. I did things at my pace. The only thing I forced upon myself was to make sure I got out of bed and kept up with personal hygiene, because I didn't want to slide into depression. I went for walks, contemplated life, did lots of writing which I love and hyperfocus on, adult colouring books - very therapeutic, binged watched box sets, kept the house tidy and clutter free (which really helps me, tidy house - tidy mind), went for coffees, met friends for coffee or walks, nothing stressful like going into crowded bars. Eventually, I got bored, and when I got bored I knew I was getting better and it was time to resume life. I'm lucky that my husband supported me to go back into higher education. I've now stopped putting pressure on myself to be neurotypical, and I'm working on unmasking and loving it. Sorry for the long answer. I'm really passionate and burnout and being authentic, because I think constant masking and work pressures caused mine.

can't say I've ever got put of burnout - they have all left a mark on me  -   Think what happens to vegetation when a fire has been thro an area of ground. 

It does regrow in time :-)

Time, develop insight and take care.

2 years after diagnosis for me (and another big burnout) 

Found it hard to learn but it does get easier.

My goals now be potentially easier to get to as I got to know my autism and no longer cut against the grain so much; it's a lot easier swimming with the tide than against it.
I find that working on acquiring an intuitive sense of what can and cannot be and aligning my efforts to that it helps.

If you are able to get rid of any unhelpful or un-nourishing stuff from your life it can help.  Best to do that carefully yourself before it accidentally spills on those around you if you can.

Once there's a better balance to life it's easier to spot the good bits and the opportunities.

Site resources here too Autistic fatigue - a guide for autistic adults

Best Wishes :-)