Overthinking or just clarifying?

Hi all,

I've a two part question:

I have a full time office job, generally cope well. Only some people know I'm autistic and have been very kind and helpful. 

Others that don't know can have a habit of saying things that they don't realise make me feel awful. The classic example is when I ask "what do you mean by X or X" when they use buzz words or business words, or when I suggest that, heaven forbid, we wrote down what we agreed and not just rely on memory after meetings. 

Today was trying to make sure an agenda was understandable for everyone, so i asked "what does long term development cover?". Someone replied with a long list of things to cover under the agenda item. I said I'm not sure we wil cover all that, is it an essential agenda item. 

Someone else then chipped to say I was "overthinking" the agenda, that we would see how far we get on the day of the meeting  why did it matter etc etc. Bear in mind this is a meeting being facilitated by someone external and involving a different company. I replied and said its important that everyone going knows what they will be asked and where we want to be by the end of the day as a minimum. 

First Q: But despite responding professionally, I can't help the gnawing anxiety now in my brain that I do over think. Am I overthinking or is clarity and preparation always better?! I think I'm being reasonable. 

Second Q: how do I stop the anxiety so I can get on with the day? I take both sertraline and beta blockers to manage anxiety symptoms, but I still have days once a week where I can't help ruminating on awkward moments and I end up wasting my holiday taking last minute half a day's holiday  cause I can't think of anything but the awkward moment. 

This is my first post, it's been great to just rant, but I'd really appreciate any tips on how not to spiral into a whole day wasted in particular, if anyone knows any! Too many books I own talk about avoiding anxiety in first place, but I can't always do that, there will always be misunderstandings with my colleagues and that's okay. I just need a recover mechanism. 

Thanks in advance

Parents
  • heaven forbid, we wrote down what we agreed and not just rely on memory after meetings

    Several years ago I started emailing people with a summary of what was agreed in a meeting or conversation specifically to avoid faulty memories (some of which are intentional!). Most people seem not to mind.

    gnawing anxiety now in my brain that I do over think.

    It sounds like you may be overthinking about overthinking Slight smile

    Seriously though, nothing you have said here sounds unreasonable to me and would be of benefit to everyone, not just you. Overthinking is probably a core facet of autism but the examples you have given seem very reasonable to me.

    PS welcome to the forum!

  • I definitely overthink about overthinking! Joy

    But that comes from years of accidentally saying things, getting bullied etc. I'm sure many of you can relate  

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