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Talking and Tones

CCRose

Does anyone else struggle with how people perceive their tone? Well today it annoyed me more than usual, as it happened for the first time at my newish job. I love my job and they are understanding but its like sometimes its like they forget I am autistic. I get it, I mask daily and people don't tend to see the 'real' me. I was late diagnosed and have gone my whole life masking and building a different 'me' for things such as work, social situations or even family events.

But even then the mask can drop, being tired, a loud environment and sensory issues can slip through. I was surrounded by 5 people near my desk, having their own conversations while also trying to ask me questions at the same time, this would be a lot for anyone but when someone got annoyed I wasn't listening to them, I replied 'Sorry, I didn't hear you as a lot is going on, people talking and sensory wise', I answered their question and moved on but the energy changed. 

People seem off and now for what ever reason I feel bad, like I should of just put up with it. I am trying to reason with myself to say what I said was nothing rude or wrong but I cant help thinking about it and 'What if I was rude'. 

Does anyone ever get like this? Or does anyone have any insight, I would really appreciate it!

Parents

  • Whn I've in that sort of situation, usually in a pub or somewhere,  it's like having half a dozen radios all tuned to different stations playing at full volume, I can't hear the one nearest me, but I can hear someone 3 tables away. I just don't seem able to distinguish and focus on sounds I need to hear, rather than general noise, my dad found the same thing when he had hearing aids. I never realised how much I lip read until I couldn't see everyones faces, I've know a few people who've unconciously learned to lip read, because they can't distinguish sounds when theres a lot going on around them.

    I wonder if your collegues felt like naughty children? After all when we're at school we're told to be quiet in class so as we can concentrate on our work, yet at work, we're supposed to be able to concentrate regardless of noise levels and distractions.

    So what if you were rude? What about their rudeness of asking you questions and whilst still chatting, how were they in a position to hear you reply?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    TheCatWoman said:
    I never realised how much I lip read until I couldn't see everyones faces,

    Yes, this was a new and unexpected challenge in 2020.

    I also use subtitles on TV.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I dont need subtitles on the telly, but then it's only me and Mum in the room and both of us are quiet when we're watching something, I hate it when people talk over the telly when I'm trying to watch something, for me it's not just background noise and a distraction, I'm actively watching and listening or I wouldn't have it on.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I find subtitles quite distracting and the little person signing in the corner during some programs.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    There’s nothing wrong with my hearing, I think I just find it easier to process visual text than sound.

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