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Talking and Tones

CCRose

Does anyone else struggle with how people perceive their tone? Well today it annoyed me more than usual, as it happened for the first time at my newish job. I love my job and they are understanding but its like sometimes its like they forget I am autistic. I get it, I mask daily and people don't tend to see the 'real' me. I was late diagnosed and have gone my whole life masking and building a different 'me' for things such as work, social situations or even family events.

But even then the mask can drop, being tired, a loud environment and sensory issues can slip through. I was surrounded by 5 people near my desk, having their own conversations while also trying to ask me questions at the same time, this would be a lot for anyone but when someone got annoyed I wasn't listening to them, I replied 'Sorry, I didn't hear you as a lot is going on, people talking and sensory wise', I answered their question and moved on but the energy changed. 

People seem off and now for what ever reason I feel bad, like I should of just put up with it. I am trying to reason with myself to say what I said was nothing rude or wrong but I cant help thinking about it and 'What if I was rude'. 

Does anyone ever get like this? Or does anyone have any insight, I would really appreciate it!

Parents

  • One of my autistic traits is that it is very self-evident if I am frustrated about something and it is readily apparent in my facial expression, mannerisms and tone of voice. As I work in an open plan office, I have experienced the situation you describe on a frequent basis, especially as people seem to use a open corridor near my desk as an impromptu meeting place. I have subsequently managed to offend many of these people when I have pointed out to them that I am trying to work and have asked them to take their conversation elsewhere. Apparently, my frustrated tone of voice on these occasions is deemed to be offensive by them, even though they caused the situation in the first place through their lack of consideration of other workers. Whilst I am not trying to pin my autistic traits on you, it may be that the others picked up on the frustration in your voice and responded defensively to it. I just wanted to let you know that this is not an uncommon occurrence and you shouldn't be beating yourself up about it.

    As an aside, this is the first post since the update that I have felt the need to respond to, so I finally got round to reactivating my account. Welcome back me!

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  • One of my autistic traits is that it is very self-evident if I am frustrated about something and it is readily apparent in my facial expression, mannerisms and tone of voice. As I work in an open plan office, I have experienced the situation you describe on a frequent basis, especially as people seem to use a open corridor near my desk as an impromptu meeting place. I have subsequently managed to offend many of these people when I have pointed out to them that I am trying to work and have asked them to take their conversation elsewhere. Apparently, my frustrated tone of voice on these occasions is deemed to be offensive by them, even though they caused the situation in the first place through their lack of consideration of other workers. Whilst I am not trying to pin my autistic traits on you, it may be that the others picked up on the frustration in your voice and responded defensively to it. I just wanted to let you know that this is not an uncommon occurrence and you shouldn't be beating yourself up about it.

    As an aside, this is the first post since the update that I have felt the need to respond to, so I finally got round to reactivating my account. Welcome back me!

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