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Talking and Tones

CCRose

Does anyone else struggle with how people perceive their tone? Well today it annoyed me more than usual, as it happened for the first time at my newish job. I love my job and they are understanding but its like sometimes its like they forget I am autistic. I get it, I mask daily and people don't tend to see the 'real' me. I was late diagnosed and have gone my whole life masking and building a different 'me' for things such as work, social situations or even family events.

But even then the mask can drop, being tired, a loud environment and sensory issues can slip through. I was surrounded by 5 people near my desk, having their own conversations while also trying to ask me questions at the same time, this would be a lot for anyone but when someone got annoyed I wasn't listening to them, I replied 'Sorry, I didn't hear you as a lot is going on, people talking and sensory wise', I answered their question and moved on but the energy changed. 

People seem off and now for what ever reason I feel bad, like I should of just put up with it. I am trying to reason with myself to say what I said was nothing rude or wrong but I cant help thinking about it and 'What if I was rude'. 

Does anyone ever get like this? Or does anyone have any insight, I would really appreciate it!

Parents

  • I get where you are coming from. I just can’t process group back and forth conversation but can engage one to one, so long as the other person isn’t ambiguous. The only thing I can suggest is to consider telling the others that you have difficulty processing their questions, and ask for what you need to make the space work for you. This can be a risk as your colleagues might respond with something negative like ‘we’re all a little bit autistic’ or ‘you don’t look autistic’, and it might not change their attitude to you. On the other hand, your colleagues might respond positively. You could also ask them if you were rude and explain that you feel the energy in the room has changed. Say that you did not intend to come across that way and that it wasn’t your intention. 

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  • I get where you are coming from. I just can’t process group back and forth conversation but can engage one to one, so long as the other person isn’t ambiguous. The only thing I can suggest is to consider telling the others that you have difficulty processing their questions, and ask for what you need to make the space work for you. This can be a risk as your colleagues might respond with something negative like ‘we’re all a little bit autistic’ or ‘you don’t look autistic’, and it might not change their attitude to you. On the other hand, your colleagues might respond positively. You could also ask them if you were rude and explain that you feel the energy in the room has changed. Say that you did not intend to come across that way and that it wasn’t your intention. 

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