Not autistic diagnosis part 2

Thanks everyone for your words in my first post. I didn't  reply before because I wanted to have my job sort out and read the full report before say anything.

Workwise, they are going to remove my accommodations gradually, and even congratulated me for that because  " It's great that you're  not autistic and that open doors for you here!" I know, great...

About the report... I was so ready to say that doctors know more than me and that I understand that the line have to be in someplace and if I don't  make the cut means that I don't  have as much challenges than others (or as much as I think). But then I read the report. They mention like 3 times that I have superior studies and a career and that I have been able to do it in a language that it is not my first language. They also mention that I have long lasting friends (2 same  friends my whole life) my long lasting relationship, and that I "demostrate empathy in particular for my family and those in need". So, I guess that is what disqualified me? I don't get it, an autistic person cannot  have superior studies? Cannot have a small group of friends? (Don't  they think that if I only have 2 friends and they are the same since I was 5, maybe is because it is fxx hard make friends and those 2, as weird as myself,  just  have been there always, so they stay?). Cannot have a long term relationship? (Even though he is probably autistic/asperger)

They don't  say why I am not autistic, just that I don't  meet the criteria, but they added "demonstrate similarities to autistic  characteristics within  recriprocal social interaction and restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped  pattern of behaviour ".

So... that's  it, am I autistic? To be honest I don't  know, but at this point I am too tired to even trying for a second opinion. So, I guess I am taking this as  that I am not autistic, and my sensory issues are just some kind of quirk, my rigidity is that I am a control freak and my lack of social skills is the language/cultural barrier

Sorry for the rant and thank you to everyone that have take the time to read this.

Parents
  • The behaviours you describe sound almost exactly like me (except for learning to speak a second language). I have 2 friends, yet can't seem to make any new ones, I find every social interaction feels like work/effort but I can still accomplish them, and I am extremely conscientious - to an extreme really - so am always thinking about others. Am I autistic or not? I chose not to be assessed and instead felt like I could be. At the very least I feel like I align more closely to this, and it has provided me with more answers that explain my identity than anything else in my life (and I've been in therapy 3 times already). I came to my own conclusion that this felt like enough for me to carry on, I am lucky that I don't need many accommodations to get by and I can adjust things myself.

    It must be frustrating for you though, I'm sorry. Putting aside the practical implications of your work accommodations (which I don't know what they are, again sorry), what do you think you are? Ultimately, it's your life and you understand it better than anyone else. The people in this community I've talked to make me feel welcome and belong regardless of what official paper I have or don't have, all because we seem to share similarities.

Reply
  • The behaviours you describe sound almost exactly like me (except for learning to speak a second language). I have 2 friends, yet can't seem to make any new ones, I find every social interaction feels like work/effort but I can still accomplish them, and I am extremely conscientious - to an extreme really - so am always thinking about others. Am I autistic or not? I chose not to be assessed and instead felt like I could be. At the very least I feel like I align more closely to this, and it has provided me with more answers that explain my identity than anything else in my life (and I've been in therapy 3 times already). I came to my own conclusion that this felt like enough for me to carry on, I am lucky that I don't need many accommodations to get by and I can adjust things myself.

    It must be frustrating for you though, I'm sorry. Putting aside the practical implications of your work accommodations (which I don't know what they are, again sorry), what do you think you are? Ultimately, it's your life and you understand it better than anyone else. The people in this community I've talked to make me feel welcome and belong regardless of what official paper I have or don't have, all because we seem to share similarities.

Children
  • I work in theatres at hospital .My accommodations are, keeping me in the same theatre, instead of moving around, and doing the same shifts, so I can have consistency, and keeping me out of the more loud spaces,so I don't  get migranes due to the noise, and can do my job properly. What is going to happen is that I will be start in the rota moving through the  department and different specialties, not knowing when In am to work until 3 weeks before and don't knowing  where i have to work until the same day of work, this gives me anxiety due uncertainty, doing different  types of shifts and even in the theatres that are more loud (they all have different grade of noise depending  the tools that are used and the kind of surgery, for example gynecology  is quite silence but orthopedic is really loud, I can tolerate most of them well but some are particularly challenging and at the end of my shift I am so bad that I cannot drive to home, and have to ask my husband to get me).