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NT husband and ND wife (me!)

V1rtuoso77

Hi all,

I've seen a lot of posts on here about wives wanting to support ND husbands but not many the other way round. (I'm new so may not have found them yet) I'm 40-something in the UK and (still) waiting for a diagnosis. I feel my husband of nearly 20 years doesn't understand how I feel about certain things and I don't know how to explain myself. Menopause symptoms seem to be making this worse. We can't agree on things and just today we've had yet another argument because we've wanted to make home improvements for some time but still can't agree on what we both want. I'm very resistant to change, I don't cope with it well at all and he knows that he wants to make some big changes to our house and garden. I'm struggling as I don't know what I want, I need all the options to make a decision but this feels massive to me and I can't discuss it without disagreeing with everything he says and I don't know what options to suggest. Then he gets angry and walks out, I get upset and nothing ever gets resolved and no decisions are made. I do want to make some improvements but I just shut down because it feels too huge and I need a start point and an end point and need to know all the steps in between! How do I deal with this? X

Parents

  • This sounds familiar, I get asked what I think, I may need time to think about what I think or want, but then I find he's gone ahead with what he wants, or him asking my opinion is actually him asking for my agreement and a massive hissy fit ensues when he dosen't get it.

    There are some free garden planning programs you can down load, maybe you could both have a play and see what you come up with? I'm sure there must be similar for houses?

Reply

  • This sounds familiar, I get asked what I think, I may need time to think about what I think or want, but then I find he's gone ahead with what he wants, or him asking my opinion is actually him asking for my agreement and a massive hissy fit ensues when he dosen't get it.

    There are some free garden planning programs you can down load, maybe you could both have a play and see what you come up with? I'm sure there must be similar for houses?

Children