Hi everyone,
I'm new to this forum so firstly just wanted to say 
hello .
I always love new years because it gives me that feeling of a fresh start and I plan in all these things I'd like to do but keep putting off. Every year I think "this one will be different". Well I'm 38 now and I every year I manage to *** it up.
I've always had people say they think I don't like them. Ironically it's the people I idolise the most that think this probably because I don't talk to them (zero confidence to do so). I've realised the way I am towards people I like and dislike is exactly the same and because they perceive me as being frosty they're frosty right back to me. At least I think that's what's happening. People rarely confront me I just get the cold shoulder.
I just feel trapped and hopeless. My life is good in every way with my job, partner, home etc but there's a big gaping hole there where connection should be and it's the only thing that makes me feel any sense of purpose for anything.
I've lost all trust in myself that I just become totally withdrawn that then leads to the problems described above. A neverending cycle I just cannot get out of.
I'm just laying out my thoughts here. Maybe someone can relate or offer some words of wisdom if they've dealt with it better than I can 
