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Being disliked

Dargo

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum so firstly just wanted to say Wavehello Wave.

I always love new years because it gives me that feeling of a fresh start and I plan in all these things I'd like to do but keep putting off. Every year I think "this one will be different". Well I'm 38 now and I every year I manage to *** it up. 

I've always had people say they think I don't like them. Ironically it's the people I idolise the most that think this probably because I don't talk to them (zero confidence to do so). I've realised the way I am towards people I like and dislike is exactly the same and because they perceive me as being frosty they're frosty right back to me. At least I think that's what's happening. People rarely confront me I just get the cold shoulder. 

I just feel trapped and hopeless. My life is good in every way with my job, partner, home etc but there's a big gaping hole there where connection should be and it's the only thing that makes me feel any sense of purpose for anything. 

I've lost all trust in myself that I just become totally withdrawn that then leads to the problems described above. A neverending cycle I just cannot get out of. 

I'm just laying out my thoughts here. Maybe someone can relate or offer some words of wisdom if they've dealt with it better than I can Disappointed

  • Hi again, I just noticed your nickname - is that a reference to Ka D'argo in Farscape?

  • Hey, welcome to the forum! 

    I can really relate to that feeling of starting a new year with so much hope that the new year will be a fresh start, only to end up feeling like you fallen back into old patterns. It can be frustrating when you want to make changes but feel stuck in cycles that are hard to break.

    Your description of people thinking you don’t like them really resonates with me. I’ve experienced similar situations where my shyness or anxiety makes it look like I seem distant, even toward the people I cared about the most. It’s tough when your internal feelings don’t match how you come across to others, it can feel like a constant misunderstanding.

    I know you mentioned feeling trapped and hopeless, but the fact that your reflecting on this and posting about it here shows that you haven’t given up. That is a big step forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. 

    You’re definitely not alone in feeling the way you do at the moment, and I hope you find support and encouragement here helpful.

    Hope to see more posts from you soon Slight smile

  • Welcome to the forum. There are lots of people here similar to you. Autism makes it difficult for us to form strong connections with neurotypical people, but we often connect better with others on the spectrum. I hope you enjoy chatting with us.