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How do you perceive how others perceive you, vs how they do actually see you?

IndigoMandala

So, 

I kind of perceive myself to others as a shadow. You know when Frodo puts the ring of power on? That's how i view and see in life. Almost like a ghost really....I started to think what people may feel like after a conversation with myself. Being in my presence. I think i would feel abit like......'whoaaah, something IS OFF with this guy!!!' Lol it's funny because I've never had a sense of 'myself' before really.

But, I wore a mask to kind of protect myself. 'Dont think about what other people think of you'......That was my mantra because no people cared about. I was unlovable (both untrue)....and boy did i care what others felt about me. All the goddam time.

Anyway, as i open up abit more. I can see how others can see me a little bit more.

Anyone else have similar thoughts? Or am i nuts lol

Parents

  • I suspect that everyone not in my immediate family sees me as a very calm and unruffled person, affable and not easily offended, a people pleaser. In reality I am often consumed by anxiety, internally agitated and capable of carrying certain grudges indefinitely. I can also exhibit an explosive temper, not often seen, but volcanic when triggered.

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  • I suspect that everyone not in my immediate family sees me as a very calm and unruffled person, affable and not easily offended, a people pleaser. In reality I am often consumed by anxiety, internally agitated and capable of carrying certain grudges indefinitely. I can also exhibit an explosive temper, not often seen, but volcanic when triggered.

Children