• Replies 21 replies
  • Subscribers 86 subscribers
  • Views 1381 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

How do you perceive how others perceive you, vs how they do actually see you?

IndigoMandala

So, 

I kind of perceive myself to others as a shadow. You know when Frodo puts the ring of power on? That's how i view and see in life. Almost like a ghost really....I started to think what people may feel like after a conversation with myself. Being in my presence. I think i would feel abit like......'whoaaah, something IS OFF with this guy!!!' Lol it's funny because I've never had a sense of 'myself' before really.

But, I wore a mask to kind of protect myself. 'Dont think about what other people think of you'......That was my mantra because no people cared about. I was unlovable (both untrue)....and boy did i care what others felt about me. All the goddam time.

Anyway, as i open up abit more. I can see how others can see me a little bit more.

Anyone else have similar thoughts? Or am i nuts lol

Parents

  • I've been utterly amazed on the rare occasions when people say what they truly think of me. I spent a lot of time thinking I was a "mess": insecure, shy, awkward, near invisible in social situations, slow to get to grips with new subjects etc etc..  then I got told by an ex-housemate that she thought I was "incredibly strong" and "an inspiration", then from one person at work that I  was "intimidating", and from another that they thought I was an "expert" in certain areas where I considered my knowledge to be quite basic.

    It's not weird to me that people see me in different ways, because I "act" (mask) differently depending who I'm around. What does surprise me is that they often seem to have a much more positive view of me compared to my own assessment, which is nice!

Reply

  • I've been utterly amazed on the rare occasions when people say what they truly think of me. I spent a lot of time thinking I was a "mess": insecure, shy, awkward, near invisible in social situations, slow to get to grips with new subjects etc etc..  then I got told by an ex-housemate that she thought I was "incredibly strong" and "an inspiration", then from one person at work that I  was "intimidating", and from another that they thought I was an "expert" in certain areas where I considered my knowledge to be quite basic.

    It's not weird to me that people see me in different ways, because I "act" (mask) differently depending who I'm around. What does surprise me is that they often seem to have a much more positive view of me compared to my own assessment, which is nice!

Children
  • in reply to Tears_before_bedtime

    I very much relate to your experience, with maybe a difference that I for years was unable to recognize and name who I actually was, my traits, the only thing I could say about myself was that I’m inferior to others. I had no idea for what reasons. I also heard things from others that amazed me. 
    as a teenager I had a very poor hygiene, for various reasons- sensory issues, simply forgetting to shower because I was so consumed by my special interest, thinking it’s not important, fearing to not use too much water and energy. And maybe few others. I had conversations with my granny who tried to explain to me that as a teenage girl I have to look after myself, I asked why, she was confused and said because others will think bad of me, it still wasn’t a reason. Only reasoning that convinced me was that I would feel better in my body if I’m clean. Then after some time I forced myself to make it my routine.