Being part of the autistic community

I've been part of "autistic communities" before. I didn't feel truly welcome and there's so many arguments over the smallest things ("how dare you call yourself a person with autism") that I just can't be bothered, and it seems to be a few powerful people who can control what goes on there.

As someone who was piled on viciously by people who are also autistic, who also decided that I wasn't actually autistic, and was not defended by anyone, I side-eye anyone who says the autistic community in general is wonderful.

I've been part of "autistic communities" before. I didn't feel truly welcome and there's so many arguments over the smallest things ("how dare you call yourself a person with autism") that I just can't be bothered, and it seems to be a few powerful people who can control what goes on there.

As someone who was piled on viciously by people who are also autistic, who also decided that I wasn't actually autistic, and was not defended by anyone, I side-eye anyone who says the autistic community in general is wonderful.

I’m observing the wide debate and what I noticed (maybe wrong, if so correct me) - being a part of autistic community means you are often being scanned for validity, which I find toxic, also there are some or maybe many, I don’t know, who themselves say, that there are already too many autistic people- those diagnosed and those not diagnosed but self identified. I think it might be something like- being autistic means you don’t fit in, don’t belong, you are the unicorn and somehow maybe subconsciously get used to it. And it may cause some sort of confusion or disappointment when the unicorn finds out, they are actually not such unicorns… there is a quite wide community of the unicorns. Everyone is unique but often sharing very similar experiences. I’m sorry if it triggers anyone. 

À few powerful people who controls what goes on here. 

I see that somewhat. In many ways from what I've seen here. I've sent a fair amount of time in classrooms, and have sem how classes a quite a 'personluty' of their own, and I do see that happening here. However, there is more tolerance for discussing topics of special interest, and luckily some of these special interests are sometimes mine, but it's clear not everyone thinks the same, leading to clashes, and that there so seem to be alliances, with some taking a leader role, and in and out people. I'm just coming to the conclusion that human nature is pretty much the same, whether neurotypical or not.

The people who have mattered most to me maybe hit some kind of a sweet spot of being interested in similar things, being creative, non conformist to a degree, with a touch of neurodiversity, and curious about how we ended up on this planet. 

HMO said:

I side-eye anyone who says the autistic community in general is wonderful.

Oh we are just people too at the end of the day and there are plenty with bigoted views, bad behaviour and mean personalities - just like any other part of society.

But they are all welcome here so long as they play by the rules so it does encourage a degree of social cohesion.

I'm not sure I could put up with too much nicey-nice bahaviour anyway as it seems just too fake. Odd coming from someone who masks I know, but I guess we can all be paradoxes sometimes