For me it's purely academic. I struggle to fit in with either group. I see no way of fixing that.
For me it's purely academic. I struggle to fit in with either group. I see no way of fixing that.
One of my oldest friends, who I have known from our schooldays, is a professional actor. He is just about as opposite to me in personality, being extroverted and gregarious, as can be imagined. I hate being the centre of attention and he revels in it. However, we have a lot of core values in common and hold similar views on politics and life. We have always got on together very well, which I think shows that being unalike in some ways is no barrier to lasting friendship.
I have quite limited experience interacting directly with other autistic people. other, that is, than members of my family. I have found that autistic people can be as unaware of how things may affect other autistic people as many allistics are. A couple of years ago I went to an Autistic Pride event, which was a picnic in a park. When I turned up, I was quizzed as to why I had turned up without picnic food, to something labelled 'a picnic'. The answers being: it was the first such event I had ever been to, I had no idea what sort of food was appropriate, I arrived by bus (2 buses) and did not want to be carrying lots of food with me and I didn't know the area and what sort of food shops were nearby. In the face of such levels of uncertainty, I decided to have lunch before I arrived and not eat any food at the picnic. I think a fairly standard autistic reaction to uncertainty, in eliminating as much of the uncertainty as possible. In the event I didn't articulate these factors, just mumbled something and felt rather deflated.
I did enjoy the event, especially talking to other autistic people, however. I just thought that the person who quizzed me could have been more accepting of a different interpretation of what the event was about.
But if I find someone who I do get on with then their neurological status dosen't matter.
It wouldn't matter to me too. With my abysmal record of making friends IRL, I can't afford to be that choosy.
I often struggle with both too, NT's just seem into different thing to me and ND's do too. But if I find someone who I do get on with then their neurological status dosen't matter.
I don't know whether some people IRL are NT or ND, so I just go with whether they seem to like and empathise with me. That hasn't been many over my lifetime. My partner is ND and I'm not sure I could have had an NT partner but who knows? I feel an empathy with most on this forum though.
Finding this forum has been so helpful for me because I really feel an affinity with other autistic and neurodivergent people. It’s been such a relief to find people who I and my family have a lot of common ground with. As someone on here said to me yesterday: it feels validating to talk to people on here. People are so understanding and supportive - and genuinely offer very insightful and helpful advice. I’m so grateful for that.
I struggle to identify with other autistic persons here. Whilst I know that all autistic persons aren't the same, the inability to identify with others here makes for a lot of anxiety and perplexity.
Aside from the difficulties with socialising none seem to have the difficulties with functioning that I have. Or if they do it's not something they'll easily admit to. This is the best thread on the subject that I've come across https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=94956&sid=86fd8cd0da5726a5ac0d6a30c310259b
I noticed, that I can fit in (not always) only with neurodivergent company. Not necessarily only autistic, but some folks with adhd or other conditions, I remember having somehow better relations to people at work or university who had learning disabilities, autism, adhd, turner syndrome etc. our topics were non standard I with them I didn’t have to pretend I also noticed that they struggle often similarly to me. At that time I had no idea about neurodiversity, but as I recall… I’m a magnet for ND people, which is good. And they also somehow trust me, they often come themselves to talk, they disclose their diagnosis etc. once a colleague told me, he has Asperger syndrome, I told him, ok I have Tourette syndrome. Then we laughed that we are a company with syndromes and promised each other to not tell anyone, only the boss knew about his dx, I didn’t even mention mine. Sometimes I feel that I don’t fit absolutely anywhere. Here on this site I also sometimes feel it’s not my place, I already know the reasons but will keep it for myself.
