I'm wondering if anyone knows, would recommend a book about relationship, marriage ND/ND?
One issue we've always had I guess is that as soon as I'm hurt or angry about something my husband's done or said and I tell him he goes straight away into this defensiveness, cockiness, have even ridiculed me in the past. I never do that to him and he says he feel safe about being vulnerable when it is the other way around. He says he reads me off as if I'm angry.
Few days ago something happened and it was the same as always how he reacted.
I'm so used to it by now but it still makes me sad. But in another I've come to accept it, it will never change, but in another I feel as if he's at a better place if it is the other way around than I am.
He says I barely critique him on anything but that he can't help him reacting that way when I do.
His parents are the same way as he is but they are both the same so I think it works for them. I'm not like them. I'm like me. I wish he could be like me too.
I have bad experiences where the first thing that went wrong is overshadowed by how he responded to me telling him.
After some time passes he can then be open and wants me to be vulnerable and for us to work it out, but he's never like that at the stage when I need him to be.
He is aware of it and has written it down somewhere but he's still the way he's always been.
