I know this may seem like a dumb question. When an ex-colleague, and then my GP mentioned autism, the first thing I did was try to find some kind of support groups that met up in person. I couldn't seem to find any. Is it something that doesn't happen, or am I not looking hard enough. I think talking in person to people in the same situation might be beneficial. Thanks for your time.
I don't know what Bluesky is, I'm guessing its some sort of social media platform?
I wish we could have some groups or something that are for people over 40 say? But then when I've tried groups for older people I've been bored, I've tried groups specific to my interests and found that people post on them about once or twice a year.
I find many people here speak a different language to me and not just the young ones, I don't do emojis, I don't know what half the terms for describing what type of autism you have mean and I don't think I was tested for any of them or told if I were, let alone what they mean. Local groups are only really interested in making sure you have the right benefits and have ignored me or told me they don't do these things when I've asked for needs assessments etc.
All the groups I've had contact with seem to think that everyones great with tech and I'm really not, so they don't know what to do with me. Also so much seems so simplistic, much of it I'd come across in other circumstances, like spoons and that seemed to annoy them, but I'd read about spoons in womens magazines years ago for helping to manage things like ME. They also seem to assume that as an older autistic person that you have no caring responsibilities and all the other things that come with getting older, trying to talk about those was met with "we don't know anything about that and don't deal with it", mostly they didn't understand to the point where I was speaking loudly and slowly to them in an attempt to explain. I've given up now, I don't have the spoons to cope with the general incompetance and lack of understanding.
As a teenager I walked around my city with a plastic tube with written “я ищу место среди людей” in Russian - I’m looking for place among people. I thought someone would approach me. Well it worked to some point but I still couldn’t keep those friendships because those Russian speaking people were also interested with normal thing like anyone else. Maybe it’s easier to find someone “like us” online. In the real world I find it hard especially if not in “controlled environment” such as planned group meetings, support groups etc.
Well, you learn something new every day. Unfortunately it's the year of my birth. Your definition sounds better though. Violet and Fred were my grandparents btw.
I've had the same problem. I joined Bluesky which has a lot of feeds and groups dedicated to Autism but the vast majority of users are people much younger than me (I am in my mid-50s) who seemingly speak a different language!
Iain interesting idea, regarding the wingman concept. I definitely feel more comfortable when I am going out with someone I know, who understands how I am in social situations. Normally I will get invited out, agree to go, then not show up and not be invited out again. People think you're either rude, or superior, without knowing the turmoil it causes.
Based on my understanding, this doesn't happen. Many of us prefer one-to-one, and this can happen, but it is rare, I suspect.
I wonder if there is much scope for having something like "autism mentors" who help autistic people find ways to engage in social groups, find a partner, find work or whatever.
I work for a charity here in Brazil helping teenagers transition from school to "adulting" and I find it helps them a great deal by having someone who will not judge their questions - even prompting them to ask stuff they may be hesitant to ask.
I also cover lots of things that people rarely cover in school, whether what to expect from the workplace, how to manage having your own apartment or living with a flatmate, what to expect at infrequent social events like weddings, funerals, birthday parties etc.
Luckily this is only once a year athough I do get to help out with occassional situations where an individual is struggling.
To translate this to helping adults, even those who are at the more mature end of the scale, would be something that could bring much relief, especially if there is an understanding of the limits of the clients tolerance and knowing how to help them if they need to get out of a situation.
If there could be someone to offer this sort of "wingman" type service then it could help a lot of autists find their confidence in some of these areas.
Would anyone consider using such as service? I'm 6,000 miles away from most of you so can't help but maybe it is something that NAS could consider supporting.
VioletfredI feel a great way to meet people is starting with your interest, hobbies, things you are passionate about. Were you looking for groups are aimed towards "autism" or people you can share similar interest in?
I think it's harder when you're older, most groups seem to be aimed at young people, I've yet to find any that suit me, partly because they're attached to a service I don't like or find helpful and again they seem full of young people. Also I think if you don't live in a city then your options are limited
There are a lot of support groups for autistic people around the country.
You might be able to find one nearby via your local NAS branch (either operated by the branch itself, or by others that they can refer you to) and/or via the NAS's own services directory:
NAS - Autism Services Directory (search using your postcode, rather than your city / town / village / etc).
It's also worth searching on Facebook for any local autism support groups, which might also offer physical meetups.
I couldn't seem to find any. Is it something that doesn't happen,
Based on my understanding, this doesn't happen. Many of us prefer one-to-one, and this can happen, but it is rare, I suspect.
