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What confirmed your own autism suspicions?

Violetfred

Hello, I am very new to all this, so please forgive any faux-pa's I make regarding post-etiquette. 

I am awaiting autism  diagnosis on the NHS. I have read up extensively on the classic signs, but I am curious what specifically confirmed it for you.¹ I have made many analogies to people over the years, as I have struggled to find a cause for what I believe is behind my decades-long battle with anxiety and depression. I am 52 years old

It is like you are walking around in a big spacesuit. You can perform basic tasks but are unable to interact with people on an intimate level. They see you, but are unaware you are in this suit. It's frustrating, as you can see people living their lives, while you can only watch. 

This is the best description of how I feel and it is a desperately lonely place to be. I often contemplate the point of it all when It seems an impossible problem to conquer in an ever increasingly complicated world.

Apologies for the ramble, but it would be nice to know I'm not alone.

Parents

  • Ironically, the official diagnosis was what 'confirmed' my Autism suspicions. I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia about 2 years before the Autism diagnosis (through university; I actually applied for dyslexia screening).


    My suspicions first 'really' kicked in about a year before the Dyspraxia diagnosis; I happened across a video of an Autistic female sharing her experiences with train accessibility, and her mannerisms in the video felt like a mirror, and this really hit me in a way I couldn't explain; thus my understanding and research in Autism began, the more I learned about it (especially with how Autism presents in females), the more I realised how wrong the stereotype was, and with every piece of research, I became 'more' sure, not 'less'.
    Then came the life bombs, where every single thing that I couldn't explain before suddenly made perfect sense!

    But it took the official diagnosis to decipher between Trauma and Autism; I was lucky enough to see a psychiatrist who was extensively trained in both, and she said I don't fit the profile for someone with Trauma, but instead a 'Traumatized Autistic person'. This was very much the distinction I needed to get over the imposter syndrome (which I believe was born out of internalised ableism from poor medical opinions over the years).
    I was also diagnosed with OCD and Alexithymia, and they strongly recommended I seek an ADHD assessment too.

    Safe to say, my assessment was very helpful in clarifying and distinguishing things. Not only did it help me, but as it turns out, my family had at least 5 generations of strong Autistic traits, every single person, not one of them diagnosed!
    We just assumed it was trauma, or because life was hard and you had to 'soldier through', no one ever stopped to connect the dots until me, probably due to all the health issues that prevented me from soldiering on.
        

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  • Ironically, the official diagnosis was what 'confirmed' my Autism suspicions. I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia about 2 years before the Autism diagnosis (through university; I actually applied for dyslexia screening).


    My suspicions first 'really' kicked in about a year before the Dyspraxia diagnosis; I happened across a video of an Autistic female sharing her experiences with train accessibility, and her mannerisms in the video felt like a mirror, and this really hit me in a way I couldn't explain; thus my understanding and research in Autism began, the more I learned about it (especially with how Autism presents in females), the more I realised how wrong the stereotype was, and with every piece of research, I became 'more' sure, not 'less'.
    Then came the life bombs, where every single thing that I couldn't explain before suddenly made perfect sense!

    But it took the official diagnosis to decipher between Trauma and Autism; I was lucky enough to see a psychiatrist who was extensively trained in both, and she said I don't fit the profile for someone with Trauma, but instead a 'Traumatized Autistic person'. This was very much the distinction I needed to get over the imposter syndrome (which I believe was born out of internalised ableism from poor medical opinions over the years).
    I was also diagnosed with OCD and Alexithymia, and they strongly recommended I seek an ADHD assessment too.

    Safe to say, my assessment was very helpful in clarifying and distinguishing things. Not only did it help me, but as it turns out, my family had at least 5 generations of strong Autistic traits, every single person, not one of them diagnosed!
    We just assumed it was trauma, or because life was hard and you had to 'soldier through', no one ever stopped to connect the dots until me, probably due to all the health issues that prevented me from soldiering on.
        

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