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What confirmed your own autism suspicions?

Violetfred

Hello, I am very new to all this, so please forgive any faux-pa's I make regarding post-etiquette. 

I am awaiting autism  diagnosis on the NHS. I have read up extensively on the classic signs, but I am curious what specifically confirmed it for you.¹ I have made many analogies to people over the years, as I have struggled to find a cause for what I believe is behind my decades-long battle with anxiety and depression. I am 52 years old

It is like you are walking around in a big spacesuit. You can perform basic tasks but are unable to interact with people on an intimate level. They see you, but are unaware you are in this suit. It's frustrating, as you can see people living their lives, while you can only watch. 

This is the best description of how I feel and it is a desperately lonely place to be. I often contemplate the point of it all when It seems an impossible problem to conquer in an ever increasingly complicated world.

Apologies for the ramble, but it would be nice to know I'm not alone.

Parents

  • What confirmed your own autism suspicions?

    An awareness, that my awareness, was different to the general awareness, of stuff around me.  You speak of space suits.....whereas I spoke of the "long dark corridors of the soul" = the same, but different.  If that isn't autism, I don't know what is.  It is weird being like us, isn't it!

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  • What confirmed your own autism suspicions?

    An awareness, that my awareness, was different to the general awareness, of stuff around me.  You speak of space suits.....whereas I spoke of the "long dark corridors of the soul" = the same, but different.  If that isn't autism, I don't know what is.  It is weird being like us, isn't it!

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    . i like 'long dark corridors of the soul'. i recently watched a TV show called 'Dark Matter', which had a long dark corridor of its own. it showed the main character alternate realities. my whole life this is something I've always thought about. versions of myself living a life full of connection. then I'm yanked back to being me, someone who looks connected, but no-one else can see that I'm not. i never wanted pity, or sympathy, just to be understood.

    Unknown said:
    An awareness, that my awareness, was different to the general awareness, of stuff around me

    perfectly said. 52 years of lack of real connection has really taken a toll on my mental health. my obsession that keeps me occupied, is trying to keep things perfect, which i know is impossible, but it helps keep my mind off things. life is about experience, but what can you do, when every situation you are in, is something to be overcome and gotten over with? (not enjoyed). i have always done a lot of 'people watching', without really knowing why. you can move around them, but you're not of them.  but where do people like me actually meet in the real world. it is indeed a strange experience. be safe