Self esteem advice

I’ve been really struggling with my self esteem for ages, I’ve been undiagnosed with autism for 19 years. My recent diagnosis makes sense and helps me understand but I still have low self esteem especially in meltdowns. I get frustrated at myself a lot and don’t like how I feel and sometimes feel like my meltdowns wasting my time. I also feel like  bother other people if I’m out with them and suppose to do something but end up having a meltdown and get frustrated at how I feel like my autistic traits limits me compared to neurotypical people. I really want to start liking myself and accepting this any advice would be appreciated Purple heart

Parents
  • Hey, welcome to the community Slight smile

    I can really relate to what you’re feeling and lower self esteem is very common for autistic people. Your diagnosis is a huge piece of the puzzle, and it can take time to adjust to fully understanding and embracing what it means for you. You’re doing the right thing by reaching out in this community and being part of the forum! I have found that since being part of this forum and speaking with other autistic people, learning from others has been the most helpful thing for me. 

    One thing that’s helped me, is reframing how I view meltdowns and other autistic traits. Instead of seeing them as “wasting time” or being a burden, I try to remind myself that meltdowns are my brains way of processing overwhelming emotions or sensory input. They’re not a failure… they’re just part of how my brain works.

    It might also help to focus on what makes you, you. Reflect on what you’re good at or what you love about yourself, even the small things, as this can make a big difference. Such as the fact you’re studying at university is an incredible achievement and something that even neurotypical people can’t sometimes achieve. 

    Also, when you’re with others, remind yourself the people who truly care about you, will want to support you and will not see you as a burden. It’s important that you give yourself plenty of time to recover and set boundaries, it doesn’t make you less valuable.

    Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend in your position.

Reply
  • Hey, welcome to the community Slight smile

    I can really relate to what you’re feeling and lower self esteem is very common for autistic people. Your diagnosis is a huge piece of the puzzle, and it can take time to adjust to fully understanding and embracing what it means for you. You’re doing the right thing by reaching out in this community and being part of the forum! I have found that since being part of this forum and speaking with other autistic people, learning from others has been the most helpful thing for me. 

    One thing that’s helped me, is reframing how I view meltdowns and other autistic traits. Instead of seeing them as “wasting time” or being a burden, I try to remind myself that meltdowns are my brains way of processing overwhelming emotions or sensory input. They’re not a failure… they’re just part of how my brain works.

    It might also help to focus on what makes you, you. Reflect on what you’re good at or what you love about yourself, even the small things, as this can make a big difference. Such as the fact you’re studying at university is an incredible achievement and something that even neurotypical people can’t sometimes achieve. 

    Also, when you’re with others, remind yourself the people who truly care about you, will want to support you and will not see you as a burden. It’s important that you give yourself plenty of time to recover and set boundaries, it doesn’t make you less valuable.

    Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend in your position.

Children
No Data