Someone i know is sleeping in his clothes and often doesnt change the following day or have a wash. He is Autistic and has ADHD. He sleeps on the sofa with the light on, the tv on and the heating on. He regularly doesnt sleep until the early mid hours of the morning. He says he sleeps better on the sofa. I dont want to push my views on him, but i want the best for him.
Just a thought, suggestion, once he gets the racing thoughts a rest, once he gets the proper help, that is... if it is depression: What I have done with those I know off (males) that have been blue or depressed, at home (not so bad they are hospitalized then) is that I have done the reverse of what I guess is normally suggested. That is I have asked them to help me out with something. That is I don't show up for them, they show up for me. I don't victimize. But I always seek out to treat everyone as my equal.
All of them (well, it's only been 3 so I shouldn't brag too much) has then helped me out with what ever it's been. I sort of expect them to. I take for granted they will. It is not me pleading. I say "I need your help…". "Could you, please…?". I'm ready. They have been, at times, surprised, but it won't stop them from helping me out. If it is autism then I will let them know some time before so it won't be an unpleasant surprise, that it won't backfire.
I know that has surprised others in our surrounding because they think the other way around that is what I should do for them (those who are depressed). If I am right or wrong about this I don't know. All I know is it works. And it makes them - my guess, I never spoke to them about it - feel of use, feel they have done a good deed for me. And they have. It gives them a small break.
It's been of practical matters that we've done together as a team or them having done it, but I'm there as well. I can't do it alone.
I think fear is an enemy when it at times paralyzes people to do anything because they are so afraid to do the wrong thing to someone who are depressed. But me asking for "neutral", "practical" matters has not to my knowledge hurt them.
Especially someone I have in mind was so "spoiled" by someone else and the closest surrounding that when I showed up and asked for help I think he first did it because he was so surprised and the others were dead silence and because of my autism I miss signs so I only know it is kinda awkward but never why, but I'm on a mission and my focus is on that person and no one else, so the rest can continue their secret language, I don't care. He's helped me with all kinds of stuff. I've been told that this person in mind never explained to me he's never done some things I expected him to know how to do when I needed his help, but the others said he sort of "came alive".
I've done the same thing with few elderly I know that were blue or depressed (women as well as men) and I'm telling you it works. It could be them giving me advice about all kinds of things or practical matters that they can do or help out with.
Just a thought, suggestion, once he gets the racing thoughts a rest, once he gets the proper help, that is... if it is depression: What I have done with those I know off (males) that have been blue or depressed, at home (not so bad they are hospitalized then) is that I have done the reverse of what I guess is normally suggested. That is I have asked them to help me out with something. That is I don't show up for them, they show up for me. I don't victimize. But I always seek out to treat everyone as my equal.
All of them (well, it's only been 3 so I shouldn't brag too much) has then helped me out with what ever it's been. I sort of expect them to. I take for granted they will. It is not me pleading. I say "I need your help…". "Could you, please…?". I'm ready. They have been, at times, surprised, but it won't stop them from helping me out. If it is autism then I will let them know some time before so it won't be an unpleasant surprise, that it won't backfire.
I know that has surprised others in our surrounding because they think the other way around that is what I should do for them (those who are depressed). If I am right or wrong about this I don't know. All I know is it works. And it makes them - my guess, I never spoke to them about it - feel of use, feel they have done a good deed for me. And they have. It gives them a small break.
It's been of practical matters that we've done together as a team or them having done it, but I'm there as well. I can't do it alone.
I think fear is an enemy when it at times paralyzes people to do anything because they are so afraid to do the wrong thing to someone who are depressed. But me asking for "neutral", "practical" matters has not to my knowledge hurt them.
Especially someone I have in mind was so "spoiled" by someone else and the closest surrounding that when I showed up and asked for help I think he first did it because he was so surprised and the others were dead silence and because of my autism I miss signs so I only know it is kinda awkward but never why, but I'm on a mission and my focus is on that person and no one else, so the rest can continue their secret language, I don't care. He's helped me with all kinds of stuff. I've been told that this person in mind never explained to me he's never done some things I expected him to know how to do when I needed his help, but the others said he sort of "came alive".
I've done the same thing with few elderly I know that were blue or depressed (women as well as men) and I'm telling you it works. It could be them giving me advice about all kinds of things or practical matters that they can do or help out with.
