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Worrying about people liking you

HMO

Much as I am able to rationalise the idea that "not everyone will like you", I feel it's a bit more complex than that.

If someone that's present in my sphere doesn't like me or has an issue with me, especially if it's someone I care about upsetting, it goes beyond "oh, they don't like me". It becomes "are they going to get revenge/try and destroy me?".

I also find myself struggling with my friends too. It's nothing that they've done wrong, it's entirely my own problem, but I go through phases of questioning if they like me. I fear that they're going to abandon me and occasionally I might want some reassurance but I wouldn't know how to go about it in the best way - I obviously wouldn't ask every day but sometimes I may feel like I need it.

Parents

  • I realised some time ago that people do occasionally give me that reassurance without me asking for it. The problem is I can never quite bring myself to believe it. I suppose actions over a long period of time are far more indicative of real intent than any words.

    Good to see you posting here again.

Reply

  • I realised some time ago that people do occasionally give me that reassurance without me asking for it. The problem is I can never quite bring myself to believe it. I suppose actions over a long period of time are far more indicative of real intent than any words.

    Good to see you posting here again.

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    Years ago, I had friends who I thought were good friends. They told me they needed space because they were struggling, and I was happy to give them that. Maybe it was the lack of communication from the perspective of "feel free to reach out whenever you're ready", or me not knowing whether I should check in or not, but in all of those cases, things were never the same.

    I tried to rescue/make sense of it but everything just made it worse.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I wonder that too and it takes quite a long time for me to feel comfortable with people, I've really beaten myself up about some stuff that I may have said or done and all it's various permutations of interpretation, then I've appologised to the person I fear I might have upset, only to find that not only were they not upset, but they hardly noticed whatever it was.