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working on change in core features of autism - is it worth the effort?

Phased

Hi all :-)

I'm two years into being ASD type 1 diagnosed and 60 years old.  I am slowly getting to understand what that means and the implications of it.

I am now wondering just how much autistic people can change in the expression of core features that define the condition.  Is it worth the effort to try or should one instead work on being "authentic" to one's true autistic self?

I suspect the reality will be a bit of both and finding one right answer might be impossible for now, nonetheless...

I've started a bit of analysis on this so far I've got this:

Just be your authentic autistic self – let your autism be free? 

 Advantages – less hard work cognitively, socially aligns oneself to other autistic people, be “true to yourself” and recognise self better has it's own reward

Disadvantages – problems with survival and thriving in neurotypical world

Potentially missing out on experiences and insights that would enhance and make life more meaningful

 

Change by adapting  Work hard and smart at learning to understand it – perhaps get the brain and behaviour to  both consciously or subconsciously do things to “fit in” to more neurotypical society and life.

Advantages less social conflict and increased potential for social “advancement”

Disadvantages This is in itself potentially “masking” behaviour so the risk of “losing oneself” might be higher

Relies upon “knowing oneself” and recognising other things that might be impossible for autistic people so really a waste of time and effort...

 

I would like to ask what is the knowledge and experience of other members in the community please - can you help with this analysis?

Parents

  • There are already many very good answers here! What one could draw from them is, as you’ve already said, there’s no definite answer. Since there’s already much high quality advice here I’m just gonna give an idea for a mental path to go down.

    Phased said:
    Potentially missing out on experiences and insights that would enhance and make life more meaningful

    I often struggle with the thought of missing out on something. The question is, when am I actually missing out on positive experiences? Since I’m still quite young, things like getting invited to a party are a big piece of social life. I barely do get invited and whenever there’s a party basically everyone around me goes to, I feel utterly alone and left out. But then again; why? I don’t like those people too much and honestly? Parties are always stressful, loud and full of opportunities to embarrass oneself. My mind is currently trying to wrap itself around the thought that it might not be too bad to not get invited to something I wouldn’t really want to attend anyway. 
    There certainly are situations where you’re actually gonna miss out on stuff you’d like, but how often is this actually the case and how often do you just feel obliged to want something you wouldn’t actually enjoy? 

  • in reply to Emmalephant

    Hi Emmalephant - it seems to me that your answer puts your current analysis as being that you are working on understanding and currently favour being your authentic autistic self - I concur: there are a couple of xmas parties that I am not attending this year for the same reasons that you outline, :-)

    Phased said:
    Change by adapting  Work hard and smart at learning to understand it – perhaps get the brain and behaviour to  both consciously or subconsciously do things to “fit in” to more neurotypical society and life.

    There is also the bit in my question about whether it is worth working on learning strategies to potentially find ways of making attendance at such parties more fun/successful/doable ....  since I suspect this will be hard work I am interested in finding out if others have been successful at it - to get an idea if it's worth the effort :-)

  • in reply to Phased

    When I am attending get-together with trusted friends, I make sure to give myself some alone-time beforehand and at the party I’m sometimes wearing noise-filtering or noise-cancelling earbuds. I’ve got a barely noticeable pair so I won’t feel as weird when wearing them. I also make sure to be as independent as possible when comes to getting there and back, so I can avoid the stress of having to rely on someone else and also don’t end up having to sleep over since sleepovers are quite difficult for me.

    So it’s really not about working on myself (although self-reflecting is always important) but more about trying to work on how I deal with my environment. This seems to work for me though.

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  • in reply to Phased

    When I am attending get-together with trusted friends, I make sure to give myself some alone-time beforehand and at the party I’m sometimes wearing noise-filtering or noise-cancelling earbuds. I’ve got a barely noticeable pair so I won’t feel as weird when wearing them. I also make sure to be as independent as possible when comes to getting there and back, so I can avoid the stress of having to rely on someone else and also don’t end up having to sleep over since sleepovers are quite difficult for me.

    So it’s really not about working on myself (although self-reflecting is always important) but more about trying to work on how I deal with my environment. This seems to work for me though.

Children