How do I tell my family

I would say you tell them and then they can deal with it any way they please. They are going to do that regardless. If they put up those walls then that's on them. You did not put those up there by saying you have this diagnose. They can say it is the wrong one, but then they are not the one living with it, you are, and you know what it feels like, they are only viewers, what they are able to detect or not, it's still on them. They are not working in the profession to be able to say yes or no to that. 

I do think it comes with them being afraid, prejudice, limited knowledge of what autism is. I know when I said one time that I was people went No, you're not! 
It is not their image of what autism is. 

If people like you, regardless of what they think of autism or not, they are still going to like you regardless. If they are made of the right stuff. The people who like me could not care less. 

I found out after burnouts that I was autistic but first one out was actually my brother. My family kept it a secret as they felt it was either anyone elses business but it really was about them thinking it is a vulnerability and that people will not understand what autism is and it becomes this weapon for them to point at you when ever they feel like it. They do not want to hand over that weapon willingly. 

I have a husband I suspect very much has autism and he says he don't care if he gets it on paper or not and it is not something he wish to pursue but at the same time he recognizes himself so much that it is a relief. I don't know where he's gonna go with all this or if anywhere.but he's had periods when I thought he was depressed and/or anxiety and why he felt different or know he was wired differently. Stuff that happened between us that I today explains that it was because of his autism. One time I was so mad I took some test online to see if he was narcissistic or autistic and turns out he was autistic. I don't know what kind of test that was, to be fair. 

I do think if you come from a family where there already is autism (diagnosed or not) you will still feel they are "home" to you. 

I feel that those I suspect have autism within my family, among relatives, are home to me.

The ones I don't suspect who are good people too I have a connection with too, but the rest that are simply corrupt in some way beyond my understanding I don't feel they are "home", there is no connection. They are what they are and it's on them. I never felt that connection. Not once. I suppose we tried to pretend we did or that we were going to get to that place, but truth to be told, you don't get to that place ever with people like that. 

Diagnosis or not what is important is that there is this connection and trying to meet each other half the way.  You can be related to anyone but not have a connection, that is my experience. 

I do not think of my parents having to have been perfect. When I think of them as random adults out in the world I can much better forgive what needs to be forgiven and see it from a different angle, more far away, then it don't matter as much. I think as children we look up to and we have both love, loyalty and demands on our parents, they get to be sort of "Gods" in a way, and once I let go of that feeling or belief system and just saw them as random people it got way better.  I know my parents had their own problems and there were things that worked well growing up and things that got chaotic and periods that just showed off the bad times that really came down to untreated mental bad health.

I have thought about how my parents to me seem to come from a different world different planet in some ways, their generations and of course they were looking at me through their own time, experiences, and you have to take it with a grain of salt. 

You could be saying "Ok. We think differently on this matter. Let's not talk about it anymore or we're just gonna have a fall out". I understand it does not get you as close as you wish if they could agree with you and that there is sadness in that, a longing, and a disappointment, but maybe they need more time and need to investigate this on their own before they are able to connect with you on this matter. Some parents or families are functioned in a way that once they have made their opinion clear, they stand their ground and they refuse any other option because they don't want to be wrong about something, but that is on them as well. That is their choice not to change, not to grow, not to admit if they are wrong about something. Then it all goes down to their own pride, their own walls. It is not only one person that pays for this, being on the other side of the wall, they pay too, but they act as if it is just the other person's fault, and it's not. 

I would say you tell them and then they can deal with it any way they please. They are going to do that regardless. If they put up those walls then that's on them. You did not put those up there by saying you have this diagnose. They can say it is the wrong one, but then they are not the one living with it, you are, and you know what it feels like, they are only viewers, what they are able to detect or not, it's still on them. They are not working in the profession to be able to say yes or no to that. 

I do think it comes with them being afraid, prejudice, limited knowledge of what autism is. I know when I said one time that I was people went No, you're not! 
It is not their image of what autism is. 

If people like you, regardless of what they think of autism or not, they are still going to like you regardless. If they are made of the right stuff. The people who like me could not care less. 

I found out after burnouts that I was autistic but first one out was actually my brother. My family kept it a secret as they felt it was either anyone elses business but it really was about them thinking it is a vulnerability and that people will not understand what autism is and it becomes this weapon for them to point at you when ever they feel like it. They do not want to hand over that weapon willingly. 

I have a husband I suspect very much has autism and he says he don't care if he gets it on paper or not and it is not something he wish to pursue but at the same time he recognizes himself so much that it is a relief. I don't know where he's gonna go with all this or if anywhere.but he's had periods when I thought he was depressed and/or anxiety and why he felt different or know he was wired differently. Stuff that happened between us that I today explains that it was because of his autism. One time I was so mad I took some test online to see if he was narcissistic or autistic and turns out he was autistic. I don't know what kind of test that was, to be fair. 

I do think if you come from a family where there already is autism (diagnosed or not) you will still feel they are "home" to you. 

I feel that those I suspect have autism within my family, among relatives, are home to me.

The ones I don't suspect who are good people too I have a connection with too, but the rest that are simply corrupt in some way beyond my understanding I don't feel they are "home", there is no connection. They are what they are and it's on them. I never felt that connection. Not once. I suppose we tried to pretend we did or that we were going to get to that place, but truth to be told, you don't get to that place ever with people like that. 

Diagnosis or not what is important is that there is this connection and trying to meet each other half the way.  You can be related to anyone but not have a connection, that is my experience. 

I do not think of my parents having to have been perfect. When I think of them as random adults out in the world I can much better forgive what needs to be forgiven and see it from a different angle, more far away, then it don't matter as much. I think as children we look up to and we have both love, loyalty and demands on our parents, they get to be sort of "Gods" in a way, and once I let go of that feeling or belief system and just saw them as random people it got way better.  I know my parents had their own problems and there were things that worked well growing up and things that got chaotic and periods that just showed off the bad times that really came down to untreated mental bad health.

I have thought about how my parents to me seem to come from a different world different planet in some ways, their generations and of course they were looking at me through their own time, experiences, and you have to take it with a grain of salt. 

You could be saying "Ok. We think differently on this matter. Let's not talk about it anymore or we're just gonna have a fall out". I understand it does not get you as close as you wish if they could agree with you and that there is sadness in that, a longing, and a disappointment, but maybe they need more time and need to investigate this on their own before they are able to connect with you on this matter. Some parents or families are functioned in a way that once they have made their opinion clear, they stand their ground and they refuse any other option because they don't want to be wrong about something, but that is on them as well. That is their choice not to change, not to grow, not to admit if they are wrong about something. Then it all goes down to their own pride, their own walls. It is not only one person that pays for this, being on the other side of the wall, they pay too, but they act as if it is just the other person's fault, and it's not.